u/RepresentativeTasty3

I'm a 25 yo single mom with a 3 year old that's starting school in a few weeks.

Although I have a supportive family and a loving boyfriend who help out often, I'm still struggling to look after my daughter's needs, get her potty trained etc while also trying to achieve my own goals. I feel like I'm constantly trying to do as much as I did before I had her and at this point I just want to throw my hands up in the air and give up, tell myself to give up on my hobbies and accept that I won't have any time to meaningfully pursue them until a decade or 2.

I did an undergrad in English and Psychology and it spoiled me into thinking that I could actually have a successful career doing the things I loved. As a post graduate I know that the writing and publishing field is all kinds of fucked now that AI has entered the field and that I won't have time to meaningfully pursue a writing job when I have to care for and provide for my daughter.

I should just shut up and accept that I'm not going to have any time for my hobbies until my 40s. Just go to work and come home to spend the rest of my day with my daughter with like a hour of netflix at the end of the night and leave it at that. But I am more motivated and inspired to be creative than I ever was before I had my daughter. I am constantly writing down story or article ideas and editing other things I've written, looking into literary magazines for publication opportunities.

But instead of just accepting that there's no time, I feel all kinds of guilt and frustration attempting to do everything. Its especially bad because I just had a week off at my cottage without my daughter and for the first time in 3 years life felt like it did when I was child free. Lots of free time to myself without the inevitable guilt I usually feel, and I could go to bed whenever I wanted. Today was particularly bad. I was able to work from home today and I was planning to work into the afternoon, take a break and wake my daughter up at 3 (her sleep schedule is fucked atm but that's a different story). Instead I fucked up and spent the entire morning doing stupid pretentious shit like Journaling and looking up tattoo ideas and now half the day is gone and I haven't even started work or woke my daughter up.

If anyone has any suggestions or advice I'd be happy to hear it. As it is I'm just hoping that things will get a little easier once she starts school.

Well folks I sat down to watch an episode of Euphoria tonight and predictably, it started buffering 40 minutes in. I closed the tab, re-opened it, tried clicking on a different episode for a few seconds before going back to the episode I'd started watching because sometimes that works. Nope, not today. Did all that about 20 times. Restarted my computer. Still no luck. So I deleted my history and signed into crave again. And guess what? Still buffering a black screen at the exact same scene it initially started buffering in.

Fuck crave. Fuck spending money on stuff that doesn't even work. Would've been better off just pirating it. Ffs, I just want a hour and a half of escapism so I don't think about my life and I can't even have that without mid-episode buffering to completely take me out of it.