i wish i knew what‘s wrong with me/my body
fyi: i struggle with cptsd, adhd, depression, anxiety, drug addiction. i don’t have (or don’t know) about any severe physical illnesses. (just tons of allergies, ibs, lactose intolerance, hypermobility, ..)
I wish a doctor could scan my body and list everything I have and how to treat it. I have been to almost every specialist for the last eight months to clarify my symptoms. No one could really help me or calm me down. I luckily didn’t get any negative results back but my pain persists, it comes in phases and I don't know what to do anymore. i can't run to the doctor anymore. is it all just psychosomatic?
my body is so sensible in regards to my mood and vice versa. my stomach is the first thing i notice and it hurts me everyday to the point that i can’t go out without having multiple meds on me. same with my skills for my adhd and trauma. i get overstimulated so easily.
i get so jealous when i compare my friends with myself. they can drink and eat whatever they want, party all night, stay fit and motivated for hours, like neglect their body whatsoever and just get away with it.
they could never understand what it‘s like to live my life and put up with this shit all day every day. sorry if i‘m pessimistic about it. i know how much harder people have it and i dont want to complain so much. i just want someone who understands me truly. i‘m just starting to learn to live with myself, alone in my 20s, sober for the first time from hard drugs.
it’s hard to manage my pain, it takes a lot for me to take care of me if i wanna feel just as well as any normal person does without severe issues. it would be so much easier to fall back into old habits. but that‘ll ruin me just as much.
welp sorry guys i just needed this to let out of my system. maybe someone can relate