Basically yeah what the title says. It grows back at like 25% the pace that it used to. Probably less than that honestly. Just a precaution to anybody that might get thrown that due to psychosis.
Well people ima put this here because yall have been/are going through what I’ve been through and I don’t have anyone else I feel comfortable venting to. I’ve learned that nobody ever fully wins. We may win or lose but that’s all we can do. Winning comes with losses and vice versa. But heavy on the NOBODY ever fully wins. You just have to sacrifice your every emotion and natural human instinct to survive. I’m overly emotional and I realize that. My mind struggles to get past it so then I struggle to grasp reality and mature. With the world the way it is nowadays I think it’s speeding up the process of my maturity/growth and I love that I hate it. I hate that I love it. I love that it works tho. I’m learning as I go. It damn sure hurts too but.. no pain no gain. Shoutout to everybody in this group we know how much we suffer/have suffered yet we still push through. Let’s just keep going 🖤
Psychosis has really took its toll on me. I don’t have much words. I can’t gather them to bring what I think and feel to you. There’s a song called “what are you so afraid of” by xxxtentacion. That song is the only thing that I can think of right now. It’s all that I can relate to. I’m only telling this community this because anybody else I could tell has a pre calculated response to me in their head because they know me. I feel for everyone in this group I genuinely try to reply to atleast one person a day in hopes that it helps. Welp. That’s it. Hopefully I cry tonight.
So in psychosis I’m sure we all know of the synchronicities. The way everything seems like it loops together never ending. I’m here to tell you all, for lack of better terms, it’s not about me or you. Those recurring thoughts, the intrusive thoughts, the things people say that just make it all click in our heads that it’s about us… it’s not. Don’t let it drag you down and make you feel like you’re the black sheep. We’re the strongest mentally out of all of them if you ask me because adversity is the best education. I saw that on a movie the other day lol.. I’m still going through all of these things that I’ve mentioned and more. Just came out of my 2nd psychosis episode. I don’t wanna make this too long. You’re not alone. You’ll get over the hump. You will adapt because you are a soldier in a battle of all out tortuous mental warfare. I love you if nobody else told you. Stay strong.
I can remember playing friv.com games on the computer at school.
I can remember days getting high and riding around with my friends. Days I thought would never end.
I remember loving everything and everybody and still do but now I know it’ll never be returned.
Now is when my heart is cold.
Now I know there’s no going back
Now I know all that I truly have is me.
And I suck
At life
And Especially at this game
These games.
Seems like people are moving with motives for a purpose
Just want to say thank you to all that replied to my post yesterday. I was feeling really down and my emotions were getting the best of me. Today is different I feel a little more confident that I can handle myself and my problems. We love tomorrow’s !
Sometimes I rlly just wanna die and get it all over with.
I just want everyone to know that it’s okay. It’s okay to go through psychosis and feel these emotions. I struggle. Every. Single. Day. My body physically hurts from all of the pressure from my emotions. My own family can’t bring me the comfort that I yearn for and they’re my only hope. If there’s anybody that needs to talk I’m here just message me. Please feel free. It does get better. There is healing. My music may be in my bio but this is beyond music. We need healing we need to be heard. And I’m here to hear you. I love every single one of you in this group and I say that bc i know atleast a little of what you’re going through. I’m here.
Voices in my head, all I can hear them say, is everyone wants me dead, bitch I’m already dead, I’ve been dead for years 🖤
I went through my second episode and it was hell. Now I’m in a weird state where I still feel like everything is synchronized and people are talking about me. It’s uncomfortable 24/7 and the depression doesn’t help at all. I’m on klonopin, olanzapine, and depakote. It feels like this has happened to me 11 times over. All I know to do is just keep staying quiet and barely moving even with my family. The more I go through it the more I believe it but I know I shouldn’t. It seems like there’s help that I need that I’ll never find. It seems like there’s words that I need to use in conversation that I can’t ever find because I can’t play the word games the “ try to avoid the point “ conversations. And I’m the point. It feels like I have clout that the government or people or someone is trying to hide from me and yet somehow still make me into this legend story. Still let me have it. Just go eventually put me in prison teach me a lesson. But I’m no legend. Atleast not yet. All I know is whatever they want I doubt they’ll get and I’ll end up dead. Maybe. This group has gotten me through a lot so we’ll see how it goes. I make music and if I have clout I’d like to just use it for that I want to go platinum and have fans that I can encourage to do better with their lives and strive for greatness. I made and album the first go round after psychosis called psychosis that I want to put out but if you ask me the higher ups are keeping me from getting a job to support myself but they’re eventually going to drain my bank accounts anyway. So I can’t make the money. Not yet. It feels like if I post this they’re gonna somehow call me crazy enough to put me back in the hospital and idk how that would go but I know it would be scary. Some encouraging words would be greatly appreciated. Love you guys. Forever 🖤