u/Resident-otaku-4747

By looking at the titles of my previous posts on here, my marriage to my dx wife has not been easy. I have tried to go above an beyond for her an my family, but things don't get any better. After some therapy, getting the right depression meds and a lot of self reflection, I realized that no amount of effort changes anything. It all just stays the same. So I started doing things that make me somewhat happy like setting aside time to workout, play games or working on projects.

For a while, things were ok, but that did not last long. My wife recently said that she's starting to feel depressed again and that she has lost the motivation to do anything like work, or doing her projects. I try to support her whenever she's down or anxious, even though I don't get the same. Sometime later, she says that she hates her job now. This is a job that she was so excited about getting in the beginning, but now she can't stand it. I really didn't know what to say at the time, so I just asked her if she wants to find another job.

It seems like that kind of annoyed her and she just dropped it. After she left for work, I noticed that this has already happened a few times before. She would say that she's depressed, then hates her job, she quits, I pick up the slack by working extra hours, still taking care of things at home, while she does what she wants to do. It feels like I'm stuck in a loop that I can't escape. I have tried to do all I can to make everyone feel happy, loved, supported and comfortable. I'm just tired and don't have it in me to help her with any of this.

I know that I shouldn't feel bad about not being able to help her, but we've been together so long that it's ingrained in me to try and make her happy. I think that I put in so much effort in that department, so i can maybe get the same in return. Which I don't and probably never will, because I don't think she has it in her to love me the same way. I'm just tired and wish I could break this cycle.

Trying to see if there are others in a similar position. If so, how's life going for you and how do you cope with everything?

tl;dr - wife goes through cycles of being depressed, hating her job then wanting to quit.

By looking at the titles of my previous posts on here, my marriage to my dx wife has not been easy. I have tried to go above an beyond for her an my family, but things don't get any better. After some therapy, getting the right depression meds and a lot of self reflection, I realized that no amount of effort changes anything. It all just stays the same. So I started doing things that make me somewhat happy like setting aside time to workout, play games or working on projects.

For a while, things were ok, but that did not last long. My wife recently said that she's starting to feel depressed again and that she has lost the motivation to do anything like work, or doing her projects. I try to support her whenever she's down or anxious, even though I don't get the same. Sometime later, she says that she hates her job now. This is a job that she was so excited about getting in the beginning, but now she can't stand it. I really didn't know what to say at the time, so I just asked her if she wants to find another job.

It seems like that kind of annoyed her and she just dropped it. After she left for work, I noticed that this has already happened a few times before. She would say that she's depressed, then hates her job, she quits, I pick up the slack by working extra hours, still taking care of things at home, while she does what she wants to do. It feels like I'm stuck in a loop that I can't escape. I have tried to do all I can to make everyone feel happy, loved, supported and comfortable. I'm just tired and don't have it in me to help her with any of this.

I know that I shouldn't feel bad about not being able to help her, but we've been together so long that it's ingrained in me to try and make her happy. I think that I put in so much effort in that department, so i can maybe get the same in return. Which I don't and probably never will, because I don't think she has it in her to love me the same way. I'm just tired and wish I could break this cycle.

Trying to see if there are others in a similar position. If so, how's life going for you and how do you cope with everything?