bipolar mother (does it end?)
I’m feeling exhausted and burnt out. I (28F) have been on the receiving end of my mom’s bipolar for many many years. For context she has a brain injury from an accident when i was a toddler, but family members have said she always been kinda crazy. The brain injury definitely does NOT help. She’s diagnosed with bipolar, delusions of grandeur and anxiety/depression.
Here’s a small list of things i’ve seen her do during a manic episode over the years. Instances from 2013-present. She’s getting older so she doesn’t do some of the more wild things anymore, but still makes concerning decisions.
-turn to alcohol to feel comforted
-skinny dip drunk in the local pond
-blame me for things going missing
-called me mean names when we lived together when i was a teen
-extreme paranoia (blocking all cameras with tape, covering windows)
-selling drugs with me at home, getting in fights with people she screwed over and expecting me to help.
-became best friends with my ex boyfriend
-venting to me about all her problems
-extreme love bombing, telling me i’m the reason for life, im the only reason she’s here still (i’ve seen attempts)
- seeing bugs under her skin and actively trying to pick them out
-doing drugs with homeless people (she’s od’d and been resuscitated luckily) said “oops silly mom, i won’t do that again”
-feels like she “isn’t getting it” and constantly asking me how i get it, how my lines match up and hers don’t
I love my mom, i try to be the best daughter but
i’m genuinely wondering if there are any people that are in their 30s-50s that have had a bipolar parent, does it get better? Am i supposed to just accept what i’m given and deal with it? Even at the expense of my own comfortability and mental health?
If she needs help and i can’t do it she’d always say she would do anything for her mother.. which feels like a guilt trip. I’m just exhausted and want to know how other people deal with this. I am an only child, she does not have a partner and my family doesn’t really help, and all of the responsibility has always fallen on me. I hope anyone else dealing with this is doing okay, thank you for reading this far if you have.