u/ResponsibleSmile3011

Help me out because I don’t know if I’m being unreasonable. There have been several times over the years that I’ve discovered my partner (35f) divulging very personal information about me (32f), including details of arguments we’ve had, to a mutual friend. A few times, texts have popped up that I’ve accidentally seen or the friend will mention something in conversation that gives away that they’ve been talking about me. I’ve told my partner how uncomfortable it makes me that information I didn’t consent to sharing was shared and that it feels like I don’t have privacy. She has assured me that she understands and that she will not share things without my consent, but she has broken her word several times. Additionally, I became aware of one such conversation where the friend went so far as to pathologize me, which I felt was completely inappropriate and unfair. This has really done a number on my trust. I understand her need to vent and I have asked her many times to do her part in signing up for therapy (I did my part a year ago), and she has not. While I understand that some level of venting to friends is normal, I would never divulge the kind of information she has shared about me. Help. Do I just accept that anything about me or me relationship is free to be shared and not expect any privacy?

TL;DR Partner oversharing to friend.