[AMTA] My boyfriend faked his death for a year.
hey guys. I've been thinking about this a lot so I needed to just get this off my chest i guess. i'm an M 25 lawyer in Japanifornia... you'd have to be an ace in attorney-ing to understand what goes on in the courts over here... but I know it was the right path for me.
for context, i started dating a district prosecutor (who I regularly face off against) after he was accused for killing a guy in a boat a year back. We can call him Mr. E for anonymity. Mr. E gave me the inspiration for becoming a lawyer in the first place, and we actually got really far in our relationship. I was gonna propose soon.
anyway, i just solved this huge case (look up 'lana skye murder trial') and Mr. E was my opponent in court. and then after the trial, he goes missing and theres a suicide note in his office. I cry my eyes out for months every night, and I don't tell my good paranormally-inclined friend, who also knew Mr. E. I felt really depressed that whole time, and another prosecutor, Mr. E's sister or something, tries to best me in court over revenge. I'm like "wtf girl, not my fault???" but she doesn't listen at all. she physically abuses me regularly and gets away with it.
Then I'm "assigned" to this big case in a fancy hotel and movie stars, right? super cool and all, but then one day Mr. E just COMES BACK. OUT OF NOWHERE, ACTING LIKE NOTHING HAPPENED! I feel super emotional because I spent hours crying over his death and feeling betrayed, so in a flash of anger, I tell him that I wish he stayed dead. He didn't react, but behind his eyes I saw him really hurt. He still hasn't elaborated on why he actually faked his death truly, other than some clearly bullshit excuses, and I can tell he's trying to resume where we left off but I'm turning him down and walking away from him as fast as possible when he's there. He's really hurt. Maybe he did actually become that depressed and was going to do it but stopped. Maybe he was telling the truth. I'm just spiraling right now and I don't know what to do.
He's still texting me and I feel bad and I want him back but I just can't forgive him yet... so I've just been leaving him on read. I do still love him. Am I the asshole here?