u/Rev-Dr-Slimeass

The so called "chicken burger" was invented in the 40s in the United States. In Georgia, a chef discovered he could pressure cook a chicken filet in the same time it took to grill a beef burger.

Do you know what he called this? A chicken SANDWICH.

Now, a chicken sandwich is a delightful thing. Everyone knows this, and it spread across the world. Which is fine. There is nothing wrong with this. We all copy eachothers food. If a Japanese guy puts a chicken sandwich on the menu of his French restaurant in Bhutan, I have no problem with that. I am trying hard not to push the cultural appropriation angle. I don't think that American food needs to be cooked by Americans or anything. Thats stupid.

If you're going to serve it though, the bare minimum respect you can do is to call it by the correct name. Its a slap in the face to take a culture's food, rename it, and then argue with the culture that invented it about what its called.

Could you imagine going up to a Japanese guy, and telling him that his sushi is actually called a fish burrito? Telling someone from Australia that a bunnings snag is actually just a poverty dog?

Look, I have travelled the world and I think its great how much you guys love my culture. Everywhere I go, I see fans of the art from my country, the food, the sports. The US is a real place with real people though. Their culinary achievements deserve at least the bare minimum respect of using the right name.

I feel like this was a popular opinion, then in became an unpopular opinion with the resurgence in popularity of the Sopranos. Almost became a joke for og fans to play on new fans.

Honestly, it sucks. We should have just seen him get shot. Or not. Just something more definitive.

I’ve been living here for nearly 3 years, and I have been blessed to have the opportunity to travel all over your beautiful country (the greater Auckland area). I think I have done a great job integrating, and I have loved it. I have done such a good job at integrating with New Zealand culture, I am doing the most Kiwi thing I can think of and moving to Sydney.

As an American, I know you greatly value my opinion, so I wanted to share exactly how I felt. Kiwis love nothing more than when a foreigner comes to their country and complains so I thought I would rate everything important, in no particular order, on a 1 to 10 scale.

Mince and Cheese Pie 3/10

What is this? Its gross. The cheese is fake, and the gravy is nasty. Honestly, I was really looking forward to trying meat pies, and this was a massive let down. I have had them from all over, and it just isn’t good.

V 6/10

It’s just an energy drink?

KFC New Zealand 1/10

You’ve adapted my culture into soggy slop. Its the worst. Wicked wings are *okay* but honestly not great. I don’t know why you guys all like it so much. Also, the zinger isn’t a burger its a sandwich

Muriwai Beach 10/10

Absolutely breathtaking if you like birds

The weather 8/10

Perfect year round, but I hate the humidity. Consider turning that down.

Small talk 2/10

Just say what you mean. If you want something we don’t need to chat first. Every single time I have needed to have a discussion at work, we have to start with pleasantries. I am unpleasant. I know this. We can skip it and get to business.

Kiwis (bird) 10/10

I saw one at the zoo once, but it was dark and my wife doesn’t believe me

Sylvia Park Mall 10/10

You might find this unbelievable, but malls in America are usually trash. Yeah they have a good one every now and then, but most of them are dead. Half the stores are closed. Crime. Sylvia Park felt like the future I was promised as a kid, and I shit you not I went there every day for the first month I was here.

Kiwis (people) 9/10

Nice people.

EB Games (RIP) 7/10

A perfect simulation of an American GameStop but with the wrong name. Somehow I felt obligated to wander around whenever I saw one, but I never bought anything.

Bakeries 9/10

Even if mince and cheese is ass, the bakeries are awesome. Extremely affordable mass produced junk food with fresh bread? How could you say no. I legitimately don’t understand why you have let American fast food into this country. You don’t need a Big Mac you need one of those fried chicken kebab things.

Christopher Luxon 2/10

Cunt but I enjoy a shiny bald head

Auckland Transport 8/10

You think I’m joking. I’m not. This public transport system is so much better than what we had in the city I grew up in. In fact, I feel comfortable saying it is the best public transport system I have ever had access to in a city where I lived.

K-Mart at 2:00AM 7/10

Was really hoping for more tweakers. Visiting a busy, but mundane, place in the middle of the night would usually mean more drug use, but I was disappointed by how normal everyone seemed. Do better please.

The Japanese cars 10/10

I am not a car guy. I just think its neat that so many of the cars are Japanese imports.

Mighty Ape 2/10

Ass

Thank you for the good times New Zealand. I wish you the best, and I hope you figure out the economy stuff.

Also, in case you didn’t realise, this is all tongue in cheek. I really did love New Zealand, and I had a great time. Luxon is a cunt though.