r/RoastMyCat

Full government name: Dumpster Fire

Nickname: Dumpy

Deaf and blind in one eye :D

Dumb as a bag of rocks

Her nephew is whining in the background 🐕‍🦺

We went 4 days without answers, 4 days you hid in the darkest corner of the basement, and when I got your bloodwork results back you were critically anemic, I'm so sorry I pulled you from your safe space to try and save your life, But you were too weak and anxious, 15 mins away from the vets office you had a stroke and passed away. You were only 7, we had so much more time together, I thought. 3 cats gone in 15 months, I hope pepper was waiting for you at the rainbow bridge and i hope Skitz isn't an asshole when he sees you. You were the embodiment of my dad, you showed up 2 weeks after dad died and you wouldn't leave. That's how you got.your name. You have wings now, fly high baby boy, momma will forever love and miss you my sweet boy. ❤️🖤😪😭

You may remember his previous roast about how he’s a pothead delinquent. He’s healthy, hydrated, and has eaten the same food consistently since he became an adult, and I’m praying to all the higher powers that this is his first and last dingleberry adventure. He was neither calm nor composed during this ordeal and made me chase and wipe him briefly before running away four times before his butthole was clean. Please bring me some comedic relief and roast him after this ordeal that was clearly traumatizing for the both of us

Rosie is an 11-year-old former street cat. She wasn't even skinny when they trapped her.
Rosie only wants wet food from my hand. She won't eat from a bowl.
Rosie needs wet food daily because she is constipated.
She doesn't even like me, she hisses at me every time we cross paths in the garden.
Roast Rosie, the street warrior.

It's getting a little lewd at this point...

And refusing to face the consequences of actions

I'll probably find it in a month, in some impossible corner. If domovye exist, he's definitely one. However, I love him with all my heart and soul, so alas I will be continuing to live under his whimsical rule

I got it back for him but he needs to do these things himself! He's a grown ass man.

Dog got startled obviously, jumped while trying to look between his legs, slipped on the squeaky clean hardwood with his limbs in every direction like a deer on ice, cat panicked, dog panicked, and both ran away from each other as if they were in some looney toons skit 😪

Dog was very sorry (it wasn’t even his fault!!) and although cat was a bit pissy and sulky for a few minutes, he ended up plopping himself in front of him and rolling a ball over to play so they’re both good now

…then he proceeded to scare himself a second time by launching himself and the ball across the room, hitting his toy stick and also launching the stick which ricocheted off the wall and slid under his legs to which he jumped and hissed. I think this might be karma

Roast my 10 year old deaf cat!
His instagram is Darbythedeafkitty!