u/Elisa-Maza

Iz Théo the Mighty Bitey heer wif ebidenz ob Mama being da wurst! It wuz brekfuss time and Ai waz doing a STARB! Ai waz weak from hunger and instead ob getting up to fix dis, mine mama stick da lite bocks in mai face and does a TAUNTLERY, as fren Niko would say! Can yoo believe herz stoopid kweschuns? Ai barely made it to mai food bowl when she finally got her lazy bort out of bed.

But she played herself! Her dum video iz now proof ob her trangr…turnz…her bad crimez aginst me! I put dis case befur Judge Balu.

This boy, I swear. I adored him.

Dis iz Théo the Mighty Bitey, here to talk about hostage crimez!

Mine mama been leaving da house to go swimming. She come back after FURREVERS (a few hours, max) smelling weerd. Dis is terribul! Abandon!

So obveeusly, dis muss stop. Not today, Mama! If yoo all see in dis pikshur, Ai have done a capture ob her paw. Now she can neber leave! Dis iz foolproof tekneek. Try it, frens!

Sammy and my brother’s dog Bella. Bella is a normal-sized Lab and Sam…was not. 🤣🤣🤣

Dis sceen ob me, Théo, az Robin Hood in mai outlaw layr didn’t make da moobie. It had to cut fur creaytib reezuns, but Ai thought dat all mai frens would like to see it anywayz!

Hahaha! Ai, Théo the Mighty Bitey, did a hilaryuss crimez!

Mama got out da monster Vakoom dis morning (boo!). Not only iz he loud, but he steal all mai pretty furs that Ai leave eberywhere!

But Ai did a revenge! Ai iz part husky, so Ai sheds a lot ob mai furz! Ai drop furz on da floor and give Mama mai best “haha SO DERE!” side-eye! Dat will teech herz!

And here is da sekond pawt, where we see how Robin Hood was sabed! Many tanks to fren Applejack! (u/mostlylurking07) Also to fren Tali, (u/Charivari8) who iz also grate director!

Ai iz so happy to hab finished mai furrst moobie! Ai love all mai frens!

ETA: Pawt One heer!

Hi frens! Ai neber make a moobie before, but so mane frens are so good dat Ai wanted to try!

Here Robin Hood does a sneek into da castle ob da ebil greedy prinse to do a steal, but sumfing goes wrong!

But don’t worry, dere will be a Pawt Too!

Make sure yoo click on da pikshures so yooz see everything!

ETA:Pawt Too heer!

He was always very suspicious of birds. I have to admit, so am I!

Maybe Major Oak still growing ober da 🌈 Bridge? Ai like to thinks so!

- Théo the Mighty Bitey Robin Hood

Frens, it iz Théo the Mighty Bitey wif a pupdate to my Cat Talk on how to do an ignore. Well, now Ai show yoo da results!

An dat iz PIKKEL! Plus other tings dat come in a chewy bocks. See all da good tings!

This is what I imagine the 🌈 Bridge is like. I hope you love it, Sam. ❤️

Hi frens! Iz Théo the Mighty Bitey heer an Ai want to demonstrate dis simple but effectib teckneek wif handling da dumdum hoomans. When yooz hoomans sayz or does sumfing stoopid, dis how it works:

Furst, yoo have to look directly at da hooman. Dis berry impawtant! If yoo skip dis step, da hooman might be SO dumdum dey not eben realize what happening.

Den yoo turns away. Yoo can turn yooz whole body away like Ai do in pikshure, or just yooz head, iz up to yoo! Da hooman will kno dey fluffed up big time and make up wiff pets and treatos!

Advanced Ignore: Dis when yoo close yooz eyes like eben looking at da dumdum hooman iz painful an egghazting! Dis showz dem dat dey need to change dey ways.

Try it, frens! It really werks!

Mama did an abandon! She was gone a whole dark time! Da other hooman wuz nice and gave me foods and pets but she not Mama!

(I stayed overnight Friday in the city to attend Pride! There were some adorable dogs there as well. Théo has been unusually clingy since I got home. My housemate said he was fine while I was gone, but clearly he missed me!)

One of the videos I took while house- and dogsitting last summer. The boys loved it out there.

Happy picture of Sam first, just in case you don’t want to look at the memorial right now.

The pet crematorium sent a lovely wooden box with his ashes, plus a framed picture of his paw print, which I was not expecting. (I think I know what my next tattoo will be.) Plus his bowl and collar. Then I was able to order a little plushie with his paw print pendant with an engraved message. That came today. Now all I need is to buy a frame for the sketch I drew of him and this should be complete.

This helps. I could never forget him, but to have tangible reminders of my sweet boy makes it easier in some way.

Frens, dis iz Joonyur Repawter Théo wif breaking news pupdate. Da Fat Pigeon, enemy ob our own media founder Kynx Kat (u/rataelle) has been seen outside mai own house! In tree in mai baksyard! How dare? What iz himb plotting? Is himb in cahoots wif Fat Gary? What does dis mean fur ICBGC? Stay tuned!

Also, da Webber here in Meowtana iz warm and slightly damp rite, but shud be sunny and hots fur da weekend, when mine mama plan an abandon fur Pride Pawrade and moosic festibul. Ai planning a soo, but don’t tell her Ai do a proud ob her, cuz she finally reddy to go to Pride az …*checks notes*…”out and proud bi lady.” Ai be prouder if she bring me home speshul treatos.

Anywayz, Joonyur Repawter Théo, signing off!