u/RiSz-Turtle

I never believed in Heaven or Hell. Now that I'm dead, I wish I had.

Faith was never really my style. The occasional prayer in a life-or-death situation, sure, but otherwise I was always a nonbeliever. Eternal damnation for my comparably small list of sins seemed a bit overkill, and eternal peace and happiness in heaven kind of felt like someone was compensating.

After I ruled out those two possibilities, the number of places I might go in the afterlife was pretty limited. Call it boring, but the realist in me imagined a vast pool of nothingness. One I could dive in and swim until I never reach the bottom. Not eternal darkness, mind you, instead, something more akin to the view from the back of your head. Not only the absence of light but the absence of everything and nothing all at once. Out of the two options I had in mind, this was my least favorite.

Option number two is what I would have preferred. Reincarnation. Essentially, hitting the restart on life and randomizing your character. The idea always excited me. Coming back as someone or something else in a completely different time period? Count me in.

All of this to say, when I got hit by that train, I never expected to see death staring me in the face. I expected to die, but I didn't expect to see THE DEATH afterward. The Grim Reaper himself in all his bony glory.

It was honestly surprising how much we got right about him. His height was hard to gauge since he was sitting down, but if I had to guess, I would say he was about six feet tall. He wore a black cloak that covered every bit of him except his arms and his face. His body was entirely bone, and his face was a hollow white skull. No eyes, ears, mouth, or nose. What he lacked in general facial features, he made up for with his pair of sparkling whites.

The one thing about him that was off took me a moment to place, but once I did, it was glaringly obvious. Where he should have been holding a scythe, there was instead a pair of hedge trimmers. The handles were red with black text that read "Cutting Hedge".

This would all be weird enough on its own, but it got much worse when death started berating me.

"Aww man, Y-You just had to go and die, didn't you!" he nervously yelled. "They're not gonna like this. Five hundred million sounds way better than five hundred million and one," he uttered.

I was a bit taken aback by the skeleton man yelling at me immediately after I just died, so it took me a moment to formulate a response.

"I'm sorry…?" I said in a confused manner.

"It's alright," he said. It was at this moment that death started pulling a pack of cigarettes from his pockets with the label "HELLFIRE" on them.

"Everything's just been so stressful lately," he said. "With the games approaching, the gods and devils have been breathing down my cervical vertebrae."

Death then pulled a cigarette from the box, shot blue fire from his fingertips and lit it, and then put it to his mouth. He inhaled for a good thirty seconds before letting out a long, deep puff of black smoke.

"You mind if I have one of those?" I asked. "This is a lot to take in."

Death let out a laugh, which turned into a mix of laughs and muffled coughs.

"This shit will have you seeing the nine hells, little man," he said in a joking yet condescending tone. "Seriously, one hit will have you feeling centuries' worth of the worst pits of Tartarus. This is just the only way I can feel anything anymore."

"Wow," I replied. I was unsure what to say.

Death cleared his throat and blurted a few fake coughs.

"Anyways, we don't have much time to waste." he said. "Welcome to the void. Don't get used to it. You won't be here long."

"Oh, good," I said. "So what were you thinking? I was hoping for reincarna-"

"Silence."

At that moment, I felt every part of my body quake and begin to tremble. I tried to speak, but my mouth had been hammered shut by his words.

"I don't decide where you go." Death said. "I only guide you to the place you believed in most."

I attempted to speak again but was still unable to talk.

"You are here because you had no beliefs. You thought you would end up in a void, so you did." Death explained. He sounded annoyed now.

"Every time we reach five hundred million humans in the void, I get stuck hosting idiotic games where the gods and demons watch you and decide who they want. "Of course, this goes for the other animals too."

I was finally able to speak again.

"So I am being forced to play a game to determine whether I go to heaven or hell," I asked, stunned at what he had just explained.

"Essentially yes. Though if you manage to win the game, you get to make the decision. If that happened, then you could reincarnate, if that is what you want." He explained further.

"So you're saying if I wasn't realistic about death and instead thought I would actually be reincarnated, I would have just been reincarnated instead?"

"Exactly." Death said, flashing me a thumbs up.

"Well, that's a shame," I said. "So what kind of games are we talking about?" I asked.

"That will be explained shortly. You and all other contestants will enter rooms where you can watch the pre-game show." "I will be getting interviewed by a few gods and going over the rules and what you should expect. "

"Okay… You know the afterlife really isn't what I expected."

"It only goes down from here. That's why I've got this void all to myself."

"Does it ever get lonely?"

"Trust me, when you have to deal with all types of narcissistic gods, an empty void becomes the only real heaven here."

With that, he sank into the black void and disappeared.

Moments later, a building started forming in front of me. It was a large black building with great doors. It looked sort of like a mixture of a sports bar and a cathedral. A sign formed across the building with the name "Dead Man's Wings."

I was intrigued and decided to enter. Upon walking into the building, I was met with a small waiting room and a second set of glass doors. I pushed through, and the building was almost exactly what I had expected. It was essentially just a Buffalo Wild Wings during Halloween. That was perfectly fine with me.

Before me now was a podium, with a skeleton standing behind it. They were looking at different seating arrangements.

"Hi, welcome to Dead Man's Wings!" "Is this your first time dining with us?" A loud, cheery, feminine voice said.

"Uhhh yeah, actually."

"Well, I am glad you decided to eat with us, and I'm sorry you died. So would you like to sit in the dining area or the bar?"

"I think I'll go with the bar. I need a drink."

"Awesome! Just so you know, I will need your Tombstone License if you decide to order a drink. Our policy doesn't allow us to serve anyone who has been dead for less than twenty-one years."

I stared coldly at the empty, expressionless face of the skeleton in front of me.

"I'm joking." They finally responded. "The bar is through the glass doors on your left. Enjoy!"

I let out a sigh of relief and walked towards the doors. This was when I noticed just how packed the place really was. Skeletons, angels, and what I assumed to be demons filled the dining room. The angels had white wings and gold halos, while the demons were red with black, batlike wings.

A group of four zombies sat at a table eating together. I think they may have been on a double date. One couple had ordered a human brain, which was sitting on their plate, half-eaten. The others seemed to be eating eyeballs as a side with a main course of entrails.

*Yum*, I thought to myself.

I next noticed a group of vampires. This one was difficult to call at first. I figured they might be vampires based on the suspiciously red drinks each of them was sipping. Since the main course hadn't arrived yet, however, I wasn't too sure. This all changed when one of them got up from his seat, transformed into a bat, and flew to the restroom at an unfathomable speed.

I started to notice a lot of the tables were now staring at me, and I entered the bar.

The bar didn't look much different. This room was lit with neon purple lighting, but otherwise was mostly the same. The bar was filled with a cast of only skeletons. I overheard a conversation, and apparently, only skeletons and contestants were allowed in the bars tonight per Death's order.

I will admit I felt a bit intimidated by the overwhelming amount of skeletons, but I was a good person.

*It's okay, this is just how people look down here. One day, when your flesh rots off, you'll probably look like this, too,* I told myself.

I decided to sit down at an empty section of the bar. A skeleton approached me shortly after.

"Wow, a human!" They said in a surprised voice. This voice wasn't like the other. It was much deeper and more masculine.

"You must be a contestant, right? What number are you?"

"Uhhh, I'm not sure, actually. I guess five hundred million one?"

The skeleton didn't give me a confused expression because he was unable to give me any expression at all, but I could somehow tell that he was questioning what I had said.

"Pretty sure there are only five hundred million players, bud. You sure you heard right?"

"I really don't know or care. The afterlife has been so confusing, and I just need to clear my head." '

"So you want a drink then, I assume?"

"Yeah, yeah, I'm just thinking. I think I'll just start with a beer to be safe. Whatever is most popular here."

"Perfect. One Gravestone coming up."

The skeleton got me the beer. Shortly after, every TV in the building switched to the same channel. I focused in too see what was going on.

On the screen was a man dressed in glossy purple cloth holding a glass of wine. He was seated at a dining table out of a five-star restaurant. His clothes didn't cover much except for his crotch region. His hair was a deep black, which complemented his light brown skin that glistened in the light. Around his head was a crown of purple grapes matching the color of his cloth. His skin showed through, revealing that he was completely jacked. He had a clearly defined six-pack, and his arm muscles were veiny and bulging. He had the physique of a Greek God.

This was because he was a Greek God.

I heard the man say:

**"Welcome to another episode of Dining with Dionysus. This week, I am proud to introduce a very special guest. The one and only, Death!"**

The camera cut to the other side of the table, where Death was seated.

The bar full of skeletons erupted as soon as death appeared on screen. The room was utter chaos. Skeletons ran around the room like maniacs. One of them hopped over the bar, grabbed an open bottle, and proceeded to pour it into their mouth. The liquid slowly soaked the floor, forming a puddle. The bartender proceeded to yell at him. On the other side of the bar, a skeleton was lying on their hands and knees. A second skeleton had torn off their own arm and was playing the first like a drum set.

**"Hello, citizens of the afterlife." Death said.**

Dionysus and Death made small talk for a few minutes before Dionysus started asking the real questions.

"**Okay, Death, it's been great catching up with you, but let's talk about what we are really here for. What can you tell me about the Placement Games?"**

**" This is going to be one for the books." Death said excitedly. " I can't say everything just yet since we are still a few days out, but I am thrilled to announce the theme of the games and go over that in detail."**

**"The theme, you say? " Dionysus questioned. "It's going to be pretty hard to top the last game's theme, you know."**

**"Undoubtedly it is. The Olympian theme was certainly one of the most successful we have ever had."**

**"Well, get on with it then." Dionysus pushed. "What is the theme?"**

**"This year….. the placement game's theme will be……."**

The room was filled with anticipation for what Death would say next. I have to admit I was quite excited too. I was also a bit bewildered. Death had been acting much differently than when I had met him. I decided to assume it was just an act for TV.

" The Seven Deadly Sins!" Death announced proudly.

I never believed in Heaven or Hell. Now that I'm dead, I wish I had.

Faith was never really my style. The occasional prayer in a life-or-death situation, sure, but otherwise I was always a nonbeliever. Eternal damnation for my comparably small list of sins seemed a bit overkill, and eternal peace and happiness in heaven kind of felt like someone was compensating.

After I ruled out those two possibilities, the number of places I might go in the afterlife was pretty limited. Call it boring, but the realist in me imagined a vast pool of nothingness. One I could dive in and swim until I never reach the bottom. Not eternal darkness, mind you, instead, something more akin to the view from the back of your head. Not only the absence of light but the absence of everything and nothing all at once. Out of the two options I had in mind, this was my least favorite.

Option number two is what I would have preferred. Reincarnation. Essentially, hitting the restart on life and randomizing your character. The idea always excited me. Coming back as someone or something else in a completely different time period? Count me in.

All of this to say, when I got hit by that train, I never expected to see death staring me in the face. I expected to die, but I didn't expect to see THE DEATH afterward. The Grim Reaper himself in all his bony glory.

It was honestly surprising how much we got right about him. His height was hard to gauge since he was sitting down, but if I had to guess, I would say he was about six feet tall. He wore a black cloak that covered every bit of him except his arms and his face. His body was entirely bone, and his face was a hollow white skull. No eyes, ears, mouth, or nose. What he lacked in general facial features, he made up for with his pair of sparkling whites.

The one thing about him that was off took me a moment to place, but once I did, it was glaringly obvious. Where he should have been holding a scythe, there was instead a pair of hedge trimmers. The handles were red with black text that read "Cutting Hedge".

This would all be weird enough on its own, but it got much worse when death started berating me.

"Aww man, Y-You just had to go and die, didn't you!" he nervously yelled. "They're not gonna like this. Five hundred million sounds way better than five hundred million and one," he uttered.

I was a bit taken aback by the skeleton man yelling at me immediately after I just died, so it took me a moment to formulate a response.

"I'm sorry…?" I said in a confused manner.

"It's alright," he said. It was at this moment that death started pulling a pack of cigarettes from his pockets with the label "HELLFIRE" on them.

"Everything's just been so stressful lately," he said. "With the games approaching, the gods and devils have been breathing down my cervical vertebrae."

Death then pulled a cigarette from the box, shot blue fire from his fingertips and lit it, and then put it to his mouth. He inhaled for a good thirty seconds before letting out a long, deep puff of black smoke.

"You mind if I have one of those?" I asked. "This is a lot to take in."

Death let out a laugh, which turned into a mix of laughs and muffled coughs.

"This shit will have you seeing the nine hells, little man," he said in a joking yet condescending tone. "Seriously, one hit will have you feeling centuries' worth of the worst pits of Tartarus. This is just the only way I can feel anything anymore."

"Wow," I replied. I was unsure what to say.

Death cleared his throat and blurted a few fake coughs.

"Anyways, we don't have much time to waste." he said. "Welcome to the void. Don't get used to it. You won't be here long."

"Oh, good," I said. "So what were you thinking? I was hoping for reincarna-"

"Silence."

At that moment, I felt every part of my body quake and begin to tremble. I tried to speak, but my mouth had been hammered shut by his words.

"I don't decide where you go." Death said. "I only guide you to the place you believed in most."

I attempted to speak again but was still unable to talk.

"You are here because you had no beliefs. You thought you would end up in a void, so you did." Death explained. He sounded annoyed now.

"Every time we reach five hundred million humans in the void, I get stuck hosting idiotic games where the gods and demons watch you and decide who they want. "Of course, this goes for the other animals too."

I was finally able to speak again.

"So I am being forced to play a game to determine whether I go to heaven or hell," I asked, stunned at what he had just explained.

"Essentially yes. Though if you manage to win the game, you get to make the decision. If that happened, then you could reincarnate, if that is what you want." He explained further.

"So you're saying if I wasn't realistic about death and instead thought I would actually be reincarnated, I would have just been reincarnated instead?"

"Exactly." Death said, flashing me a thumbs up.

"Well, that's a shame," I said. "So what kind of games are we talking about?" I asked.

"That will be explained shortly. You and all other contestants will enter rooms where you can watch the pre-game show." "I will be getting interviewed by a few gods and going over the rules and what you should expect. "

"Okay… You know the afterlife really isn't what I expected."

"It only goes down from here. That's why I've got this void all to myself."

"Does it ever get lonely?"

"Trust me, when you have to deal with all types of narcissistic gods, an empty void becomes the only real heaven here."

With that, he sank into the black void and disappeared.

Moments later, a building started forming in front of me. It was a large black building with great doors. It looked sort of like a mixture of a sports bar and a cathedral. A sign formed across the building with the name "Dead Man's Wings."

I was intrigued and decided to enter. Upon walking into the building, I was met with a small waiting room and a second set of glass doors. I pushed through, and the building was almost exactly what I had expected. It was essentially just a Buffalo Wild Wings during Halloween. That was perfectly fine with me.

Before me now was a podium, with a skeleton standing behind it. They were looking at different seating arrangements.

"Hi, welcome to Dead Man's Wings!" "Is this your first time dining with us?" A loud, cheery, feminine voice said.

"Uhhh yeah, actually."

"Well, I am glad you decided to eat with us, and I'm sorry you died. So would you like to sit in the dining area or the bar?"

"I think I'll go with the bar. I need a drink."

"Awesome! Just so you know, I will need your Tombstone License if you decide to order a drink. Our policy doesn't allow us to serve anyone who has been dead for less than twenty-one years."

I stared coldly at the empty, expressionless face of the skeleton in front of me.

"I'm joking." They finally responded. "The bar is through the glass doors on your left. Enjoy!"

I let out a sigh of relief and walked towards the doors. This was when I noticed just how packed the place really was. Skeletons, angels, and what I assumed to be demons filled the dining room. The angels had white wings and gold halos, while the demons were red with black, batlike wings.

A group of four zombies sat at a table eating together. I think they may have been on a double date. One couple had ordered a human brain, which was sitting on their plate, half-eaten. The others seemed to be eating eyeballs as a side with a main course of entrails.

Yum, I thought to myself.

I next noticed a group of vampires. This one was difficult to call at first. I figured they might be vampires based on the suspiciously red drinks each of them was sipping. Since the main course hadn't arrived yet, however, I wasn't too sure. This all changed when one of them got up from his seat, transformed into a bat, and flew to the restroom at an unfathomable speed.

I started to notice a lot of the tables were now staring at me, and I entered the bar.

The bar didn't look much different. This room was lit with neon purple lighting, but otherwise was mostly the same. The bar was filled with a cast of only skeletons. I overheard a conversation, and apparently, only skeletons and contestants were allowed in the bars tonight per Death's order.

I will admit I felt a bit intimidated by the overwhelming amount of skeletons, but I was a good person.

It's okay, this is just how people look down here. One day, when your flesh rots off, you'll probably look like this, too, I told myself.

I decided to sit down at an empty section of the bar. A skeleton approached me shortly after.

"Wow, a human!" They said in a surprised voice. This voice wasn't like the other. It was much deeper and more masculine.

"You must be a contestant, right? What number are you?"

"Uhhh, I'm not sure, actually. I guess five hundred million one?"

The skeleton didn't give me a confused expression because he was unable to give me any expression at all, but I could somehow tell that he was questioning what I had said.

"Pretty sure there are only five hundred million players, bud. You sure you heard right?"

"I really don't know or care. The afterlife has been so confusing, and I just need to clear my head." '

"So you want a drink then, I assume?"

"Yeah, yeah, I'm just thinking. I think I'll just start with a beer to be safe. Whatever is most popular here."

"Perfect. One Gravestone coming up."

The skeleton got me the beer. Shortly after, every TV in the building switched to the same channel. I focused in too see what was going on.

On the screen was a man dressed in glossy purple cloth holding a glass of wine. He was seated at a dining table out of a five-star restaurant. His clothes didn't cover much except for his crotch region. His hair was a deep black, which complemented his light brown skin that glistened in the light. Around his head was a crown of purple grapes matching the color of his cloth. His skin showed through, revealing that he was completely jacked. He had a clearly defined six-pack, and his arm muscles were veiny and bulging. He had the physique of a Greek God.

This was because he was a Greek God.

I heard the man say:

"Welcome to another episode of Dining with Dionysus. This week, I am proud to introduce a very special guest. The one and only, Death!"

The camera cut to the other side of the table, where Death was seated.

The bar full of skeletons erupted as soon as death appeared on screen. The room was utter chaos. Skeletons ran around the room like maniacs. One of them hopped over the bar, grabbed an open bottle, and proceeded to pour it into their mouth. The liquid slowly soaked the floor, forming a puddle. The bartender proceeded to yell at him. On the other side of the bar, a skeleton was lying on their hands and knees. A second skeleton had torn off their own arm and was playing the first like a drum set.

"Hello, citizens of the afterlife." Death said.

Dionysus and Death made small talk for a few minutes before Dionysus started asking the real questions.

"Okay, Death, it's been great catching up with you, but let's talk about what we are really here for. What can you tell me about the Placement Games?"

" This is going to be one for the books." Death said excitedly. " I can't say everything just yet since we are still a few days out, but I am thrilled to announce the theme of the games and go over that in detail."

"The theme, you say? " Dionysus questioned. "It's going to be pretty hard to top the last game's theme, you know."

"Undoubtedly it is. The Olympian theme was certainly one of the most successful we have ever had."

"Well, get on with it then." Dionysus pushed. "What is the theme?"

"This year….. the placement game's theme will be……."

The room was filled with anticipation for what Death would say next. I have to admit I was quite excited too. I was also a bit bewildered. Death had been acting much differently than when I had met him. I decided to assume it was just an act for TV.

" The Seven Deadly Sins!" Death announced proudly.

Weird question. I had shad a long time ago when it did not work as well. I can’t find any files on my computer related to it, but whenever I download shadps4 now I get an error and am unable to download it because I already have it installed. I’d really like to play Bloodborne again.

https://preview.redd.it/i3k4oe6q11zg1.png?width=1225&format=png&auto=webp&s=965f8f9ed3a7a43f7273ce9f774090b652070c93

These are the comparisons of my first two pretests. I failed the first one and passed the 2nd one. Am I supposed to be able to see how close it was? I don't want to take the OA if I barely passed. I missed like 8 problems but many off them were only .1 or .3

https://preview.redd.it/3m6m7xvhm0zg1.png?width=1879&format=png&auto=webp&s=7c9819b10cef8cd4685f94d0d9ab73960da5b732

Is there a certain way I am supposed to add the Totals Row? I feel like this is a totals row lol. I got this wrong on the pretest, and now the section test and the points add up quite a bit. Once I fix this, I feel like I should be fine to retake the pretest and then do the OA