u/RightCoyote5156

I went to a park today to enjoy some time off and read a hard copy book to get away from screens and the kids there would not shut up. Seriously not even 5 seconds of silence. Not 5 seconds. Most of the kids screamed. Other kids felt the need to narrate every single thing they saw and did.

I am not saying people have to cave and walk on egg shells of silence but anyone who chooses that for the next 18 years of their life are crazy to me.

If I was a woman forced into that due to societal pressure the anger I would feel I would need a lot of therapy.

Three former staff members of Southern Hills Rehabilitation Center in Tulsa are now facing felony neglect charges, nearly three years after a resident under their care was found with hundreds of maggots on his body. The charges were filed in Tulsa County District Court on July 10, 2026. Former licensed practical nurses Audra Owens and Keke Ingram, along with former certified nursing assistant Danisha Brown, were each charged with one count of neglect by a caretaker.

The resident, identified in court documents only as L.T., was seventy four years old, quadriplegic, and nonverbal following a stroke. He was completely dependent on staff for every aspect of his daily care, including repositioning, hygiene, and skin assessments meant to prevent and monitor pressure wounds. On July 19, 2023, an afternoon shift nurse discovered hundreds of maggots in his groin area and in his bedding. EMS was called and he was transported to Saint Francis Hospital. Other employees told investigators they had noticed the maggots earlier that same day.

What makes this case worth looking into, is not just what was found, but what it took to find it. A maggot infestation of that scale does not appear overnight. For anyone who has worked bedside with patients who have limited mobility, the sequence is familiar even before a single detail is confirmed. A patient who is not turned on schedule develops pressure wounds. A patient who cannot control bladder or bowel function and is not properly cleaned afterward has those wounds exposed to ongoing contamination. Contaminated, unaddressed wounds become infected. Infected tissue draws flies, and flies lay eggs, and within a day or two those eggs become larvae. None of this happens without a smell that precedes the visible signs.

Anyone who has cared for a wound at that stage knows the odor announces the problem before anyone sees anything crawling. It is not subtle and it is not easy to miss if someone is actually in the room doing hands on care.
That is what makes the documentation gap in this case so significant. According to the arrest affidavits from the Oklahoma Attorney General’s Medicaid Fraud Control Unit, medical records showed catheter care, feeding tube care, colostomy care, and regular repositioning being charted for L.T. Owens is accused of documenting this care despite witness statements indicating he was not being turned every two hours as required. Ingram served as the overnight charge nurse responsible for his direct care in the hours before the infestation was found, and told investigators she performed head to toe assessments every shift. Brown, the CNA, initially told investigators she did not remember caring for the resident at all. She changed her account later that day after speaking with her mother, telling investigators she and Ingram had discovered the maggots together while repositioning him during the overnight shift, and that he was not wearing a brief and did not have a pillow between his legs, despite documentation stating one had been placed.

The investigation itself raises its own question. The incident happened in July 2023. The three former employees were not interviewed by investigators until May and June of 2026, and charges were not filed until July 10, 2026, just before the third anniversary of the day L.T. was found. None of the public reporting or court documents explain what filled that gap. It is worth asking directly rather than assuming. Was the case sitting in a queue at an underresourced unit. Was there a delay in referral from the facility or from the hospital that treated him. Did the investigation stall for reasons that have nothing to do with the strength of the evidence. A resident who suffered this kind of harm, and the family who has waited three years for any accountability, deserve an answer to that question as much as they deserve the charges themselves.

It is also worth naming plainly what this case is and is not. It is not a story about three individually cruel people. It is a story about what happens when documentation becomes disconnected from actual bedside care, and about the conditions that make that disconnection possible in the first place. Charting a turn that did not happen is a falsification, but falsification like this rarely occurs in isolation. It tends to show up in facilities where staffing does not match acuity, where nurses and aides are covering more total care needs than any conscientious clinician could physically complete in a shift, and where the pressure to show compliance on paper outpaces the ability to deliver it at the bedside. None of that excuses what is alleged here. A resident who cannot speak for himself and cannot move on his own is owed the most basic dignity of being turned, cleaned, and checked. But if the accountability conversation stops at three former employees and never reaches the facility’s staffing ratios, its oversight structure, or the licensing agencies responsible for catching this sooner, the conversation is incomplete.

Owens, Ingram, and Brown are presumed innocent until proven guilty. The cases remain pending in Tulsa County District Court. Whatever the outcome for each of them individually, the larger question the case raises about the length of time between harm and accountability, and about what allows documentation to drift that far from reality in a long term care setting, should not disappear once the headlines do.

I am looking for advice on how to navigate dating when you are early seeing someone, 1 to 4 months and your birthday is soon.

I have had 2 men ruin things for us due to my birthday.

One man did not do anything and forgot my birthday and I decided that was not what I wanted for my future, I date assessing if what I am getting is what I want longer and I do not date to change a man.

The second man I was seeing 3 months and he got me a $15 gift card to Chipotle.

No to be rude but my foundation costs more than that, I donated more to the stranger on go fund me than that.

This also killed my desire for him and I don't need diamonds for my birthday but...something more that he gave.

A birthday and Xmas seem the easiest win for a man, especially birthday. Just send flowers!

My question is, what do you expect in early dating for birthday and Xmas?

I only get desire for a man when he is kind to me and showing effort.

I hope this will not be taken down, I understand my karma is low but I am not ai and I am a real person looking for advice and I have read the rules.

This is why I am asking here, I don't want to ask other subs, it will be men and women who are saying "oh just take a bday card that js enough he tried!"

Then in 3 years the woman is angry they settled because he is still low effort, she does not desire sex with him due to this and they have a dead bedroom with days of her giving silent treatment.