My birth mom is trying to file a restraining order on me
21F located in Missouri
My adoption case was open with her. She wanted a relationship with me growing up. I was always told I was adopted by my adoptee parents. Love them to death but they're a complicated case in themselves too with adopting me and my older brother. My birth mom is not related to my older brother and my older brother is not related to my little brother. My older brother has nothing to do with this relationship with her. He's got his own deal going on too. My little brother is about to turn 18 and was raised by her adoptee parents, our grandparents, because she had him at 18 and me at 16. Wanted to try and keep him after having me and couldn't.
Before my birthday she tried to file a restraining order on me when I haven't directly contacted her in a year. I make posts on my tictok saying my "birth mom" or "giver of birth" venting but idk how she see's those because as far as I'm aware she's blocked. I was talking to my little brother because he's about to turn 18 and was raised by her and her family because she tried to keep him. That's when a week later my adoptive parents called me saying she sent officers to their house to try and serve me papers. But she doesn't know I moved out and away from them as well in the city. She'd have to get my apartment address and unit # to have them served to me. She's a paramedic. And thought I was gonna call cps on her because of a joke I made with my little brother. She goes through his phone. I'm trying to have a more fulfilling relationship with him when he turns 18. He was never told I existed until he was around 5-6. And we met when he was around 8-10. On my 21st birthday she sent me flowers "anonymously" in the mail to my adoptive parents house. But the person delivering the flowers forgot to remove she was the sender on it. Should I stop making tictoks about her? I don't know what to do. I'm scared of her trying to serve something to me again when I have not made contact with her in the first place. I can't have that on my record when I'm trying to become a mortician one day. She has a clip of me saying out context of me telling her to "off herself" because I'm borderline and she was using a reactive abuse tactic on me. And a clip of me sarcastically making a joke saying I wanted to strangle her to my little brother as a joke as well.
A poem I wrote:
"A war between a mortuary daughter and a paramedic mother. I see the life in death and she see's the death in life."
What's the best way of repairing this relationship so there's no more worry of legal threats for trying to make an effort with my little brother when he's 18 next month. I want to move him in with me in December when my lease is up. Help him out and really get him on his feet. How do I contact her hypothetically to ask her to do therapy with me and work it out that way? Would there be harm in that? The papers were never handed to me so really is the restraining order even there? I don't know how any of this works. I'm in such a crisis with my adoption case. I see a new therapist that specializes in it. Love her to death. Been seeing the same shrink since 2015. He's great too. Been diagnosed as borderline and I know my birth mom is too but she thinks she was misdiagnosed with autism. Started and now nearly done with TMS therapy, lookat me go breaking the generational curse. Now how do I help my little brother do it too?