I hate the new He-Man movie and the way Hollywood seems over ran by hipsters that think you can't like anything unless it is ironic.
I don't know if I can post this here, but I don't know where else to post it so here goes. The new movie is terrible, and I don't mean just bad, I am talking about I would rather do Irish river dance on lego with rusty thumbtacks sprinkled in than ever go see it again.
It is the kind of just pure awful why were these people allowed to make this? Kind of movie that honestly caused my head to hurt. Seriously, the entire movie feels like two hours of some hipster all but mugging to the camera and going "See guys! See! This has always been cheesy and bad, and you should feel dumb and bad for ever liking it!" Seriously, every joke fell flat for me I didn't so much as chuckle, let alone laugh in fact it was worse. I have gone through a good chunk of my life without saying the phrase "God damn it." Just a personal thing, I don't really use any version of it. The movie was so actively fucking bad that I found myself at multiple points groaning in pure exasperation and saying out loud in the theater, "Oh God damn it, are you fucking serious?"
Nothing, and I mean NOTHING in this movie comes across as genuine, every last fucking shred and second of it comes across as spiteful fucks that hated the fact they had a sibling that thought it was cool and so now are trying to do everything they can to shit on it. The script is mostly nothing but the absolute worst kind of fucking Marvel humor every serious moment is instantly cut off at the fucking knees by some cringe out of my skin shitty joke that doesn't belong there, and I am almost a thousand percent sure that the hack writers on this got most of their knowledge about He-Man and Skeletor from those over played, terrible fucking "hur hur He-Man strong guy must be gay." Memes that largely died off a decade ago!
And then after two hours of this, two hours of trying to be you over the head with how terrible and awful and dumb the whole IP is...the movie almost snaps itself in half like a jet trying to do a hard turn at mach seven to be like "No guys, we swear it is actually cool, please give us money and come see the She-Ra movie we are teasing!", NO, no you disingenous fucking hack of a movie, you didn't earn it, you actively made me want to make sure no one I know ever sees anything from this movie or related to this movie and have actively made me not want to see anything from the people that made it.