u/Rocketshorts5589

This is a repost from my post on r/asklgbt but a user responded and told me to ask here since it’s more specific.

Please understand it’s difficult for me to even post and visit here as it’s seen as very wrong.

Hi I’m (30F) in a tough situation. I come from a really strict, religious family, and I love them to death. My mom passed away sadly, but my dad and especially my sisters are a life line to me we do everything together they are my best friends. I live in a studio on the same property and have a really good rent deal since it’s my dad‘s house.

I’ve been suppressing my attraction for years since I was a teen. Ive never acted on it though. It has caused me to have depression that I’ve hidden from my family and friends. I’ve never dated since I’ve never felt a crush on any men. Recently pushing it down caused severe panic attacks and I was hospitalized early this year. Since then, I’ve started medication and therapy and I’ve been improving but going on like this is very unhealthy. I want to stop being closeted.

My family and I are JW’s, I was born in really but I’d never want to disappoint my family or God so I’ve tried to live in what I was told was the best way of life. I’ve been doubting lots of things for years pretty significantly over the last five years, but there’s no real way to question anything even politely within the organization without being under pressure and being scrutinized.

So the real tough part is if you either leave voluntarily or do anything that’s considered wrong or unclean, you will be removed and shunned by the community. Your family, especially is supposed to not really speak to you much and my dad very involved and will likely not allow me to live on the property anymore if he found out that I’m gay or want to explore that. As JW’s you’re encouraged to not make friends with anyone worldly basically spending as little time possible with anybody who is not one of Jehovah’s witnesses unless you are preaching. So I basically have no outside resources. In light of that my entire support system is within this community so if I was to leave, I would lose my house, my family, and my friends in an instant, and without a way to even talk to anyone I could never even explain anything, I would be viewed as spiritually dead. During this time I’m still medically recovering and I still have severe anxiety and depression, losing everyone would literally feel like a death sentence.

I don’t need to make a big declaration, there’s people in my family I still wouldn’t tell. I just want a way that I can separate my life a little and sort of drift away from the JW organization so I can experience life and stop hating myself. But everything is so policed it starts to feel impossible.

My question is is there anyway that I can actually come out without my life being ruined? Has anyone experienced something like this? And if so what steps can i take?

TLDR: my entire support system is tied to strict religious beliefs and if I came out and I would lose everything but staying hidden is making me unwell. I’m really struggling please help.

Hi I’m (30F) in a tough situation. I come from a really strict, religious family, and I love them to death. My mom passed away sadly, but my dad and especially my sisters are a life line to me we do everything together they are my best friends. I live in a studio on the same property and have a really good rent deal since it’s my dad‘s house.

I’ve been suppressing my attraction for years since I was a teen. Ive never acted on it though. It has caused me to have depression that I’ve hidden from my family and friends. I’ve never dated since I’ve never felt a crush on any men. Recently pushing it down caused severe panic attacks and I was hospitalized early this year. Since then, I’ve started medication and therapy and I’ve been improving but going on like this is very unhealthy. I want to stop being closeted.

My family and I are JW’s, I was born in really but I’d never want to disappoint my family or God so I’ve tried to live in what I was told was the best way of life. I’ve been doubting lots of things for years pretty significantly over the last five years, but there’s no real way to question anything even politely within the organization without being under pressure and being scrutinized.

So the real tough part is if you either leave voluntarily or do anything that’s considered wrong or unclean, you will be removed and shunned by the community. Your family, especially is supposed to not really speak to you much and my dad very involved and will likely not allow me to live on the property anymore if he found out that I’m gay or want to explore that. As JW’s you’re encouraged to not make friends with anyone worldly basically spending as little time possible with anybody who is not one of Jehovah’s witnesses unless you are preaching. So I basically have no outside resources. In light of that my entire support system is within this community so if I was to leave, I would lose my house, my family, and my friends in an instant, and without a way to even talk to anyone I could never even explain anything, I would be viewed as spiritually dead. During this time I’m still medically recovering and I still have severe anxiety and depression, losing everyone would literally feel like a death sentence.

I don’t need to make a big declaration, there’s people in my family I still wouldn’t tell. I just want a way that I can separate my life a little and sort of drift away from the JW organization so I can experience life and stop hating myself. But everything is so policed it starts to feel impossible.

My question is is there anyway that I can actually come out without my life being ruined? Has anyone experienced something like this? And if so what steps can i take?

TLDR: my entire support system is tied to strict religious beliefs and if I came out and I would lose everything but staying hidden is making me unwell. I’m really struggling please help.