Need Advice: My Parents Refuse to Accept My Girlfriend and It's Taking a Serious Toll on My Mental (M30- F22)
I'm 30M, and my story started when I was 26. My parents began looking for a suitable partner for me through the traditional arranged marriage process.
Over the next three years, we saw several proposals. There were girls I liked but my mom rejected them, and there were girls my parents liked but I didn't feel a connection with. This went on for years.
Finally, when I was 29, we all agreed on one girl. My parents liked her, I liked her, and I was planning to meet her. Out of nowhere, my mom found something she didn't approve of and cancelled the proposal entirely. That was incredibly frustrating because I had trusted the process and waited patiently for years.
After that experience, I decided to take matters into my own hands. I met someone through an app. She lives in another country, and over the past year we've gotten to know each other really well. We've had countless conversations, built trust, and I genuinely want to marry her and build a life together.
I had casually mentioned to my parents a few times that I might marry someone from another country, and they always reacted negatively. Things became much more serious when I told them I wanted to book tickets to meet her.
Their reaction shocked me.
They told me I was disrespecting them, that I was behaving against my parents' wishes, and that she would cheat me or only wanted my money. They kept saying they don't know anyone in her country, so they couldn't support such a marriage. They also said they were ashamed that I wanted to marry someone from a different culture and that I was bringing hardship and embarrassment to the family.
The hardest part was when they finally said: "If you marry her, you're on your own. Your mother and father will not support you."
Since then, I've been emotionally exhausted. I can't concentrate at work, I overthink constantly, I feel guilty for wanting to choose my own life partner, and I feel torn between my parents and the woman I love. It's affecting my sleep, my productivity, and my overall mental health.
I'm at a point where I don't know what to do anymore.
Has anyone here been through something similar? Did your parents eventually come around? Would therapy help me cope with all of this, or is there another approach I should consider?
I'd really appreciate any advice or experiences from people who've been in a similar situation.