u/Round_Watercress8286

Hola, ¿como están?

Soy un hombre trans en un año de testo y algunos meses, y mi condición física ha empeorado por descuido (mala alimentación, poca actividad física, etc) por lo cual me gustaría empezar una rutina de ejercicios e ir al gym, pero soy sumamente ignorante con respecto al tema de cómo organizar mis ejercicios y en general como empezar.

Sí bien me interesa entrenar la espalda/tren superior para tener una apariencia más masculina, también me gustaría entrenar mi cuerpo a nivel general también, pero no sé cómo crear una rutina; descargué una aplicación llamada Lift Off que me deja crear rutinas y me explica que músculos trabajo con que ejercicios, pero no sé cómo distribuir la rutina para ojalá entrenar todo el cuerpo, o si es mejor entrenar un día el tren superior y otro día el tren inferior, por ejemplo.

No lo publicó en el subreddits de ejercicios porque no sé qué tan LGBT+ friendly sean con mi identidad y obviamente no es el tema principal o tema a discutir, solo es un factor que puede influir en como y que entrenar, y prefiero que sean recomendaciones de personas queer

Cualquier dato lo agradezco, gracias!

This happened just this Thursday night to Friday.

I (FtM, 22) had just returned from a short trip with my mom (F, 42). we got home, and before we had sushi, I logged into my secondary Facebook account (where I only have my family, use my deadname, etc.). I don't live in my home country since 2018.

Just a few weeks ago, I had added one of my former neighbors, who was also a close friend of my aunt “Amelia” (fake name), and that night when I was on Facebook, I saw that she had posted a flyer announcing the commemoration of the one-year anniversary of my aunt Amelia’s death. I was in shock; I showed it to my mom, and she started crying and asking for forgiveness, saying that she was sorry.

Long story short, my aunt died a year ago, and my dad (M, 60) had the stupid idea to hide the death of my aunt “Amelia,” as well as that of another aunt who was in a nursing home and also passed away. And EVERY adult in my family who could have chosen not to go along with my dad’s plan did so; They try to explain to me that some people (my older brother, the only paternal aunt I have left now, my mom, etc.) tried to tell him it wasn’t the best idea, but they went along with the lie anyway.

I have to admit that I hardly ever called my Aunt Amelia, I don't really enjoy talking through the phone, but I also had little contact with my aunt Amelia because it took her a long time to acknowledge that another of her nephews (he wasn’t Amelia’s son) had SA me, because she knew about it almost as it was happening, but she did nothing, and it wasn’t until years later that she acknowledged it (2016) and ask me for forgiveness. Then, more recently, she tried to gaslight me, claiming she didn’t know what I was talking about once that cousin’s name came up (around 2022), that really hurt me and disappointed me, but I would have never wished to my aunt to die.

Despite this, I wanted to talk to my aunt, and if someone had told me a year ago that she was dying, hospitalized in a clinic, I would have forgiven her, and I would also have apologized to her for having distanced myself from her.

Now she’s dead, I’m in another country unable to see her grave, unable to cry in my small apartment/studio, and I feel completely lost.

I want to cry and there's no one who can hug me. I miss her, she was my mama.