u/Routine_Fennel_5836

We’ve been together for 9 months now. And the beginning was nothing but filled up with respect, deep conversations and strong statements.

I always loved how funny he was and we are laughing a lot together. But slowly the jokes became at my own expenses. I would complain about some others things very rarely and he would create a funny statement on it, and making fun later on like “Oh, sorry I need to be more “considerate” !” and keep repeating it. He also knows that I’m very careful about my belongings and didn’t hesitated to ruin my new pants with some juice, just “because it’s fun”. After 6 months, the farts and burps appeared. Stability went away when he was making jokes or some hints about his ex relationships and I slowly started to feel insecure. The other day he saw me crying in the shower and the day later, he reproduced the scene just to mock me.

Also, I have to speak a third language with his family which is hard. And he laugh at me because his father did not understand what I was desperately trying to say. (Without mentioning that his family doesn’t really accept me).

I used to like some jokes time to time but now, it’s all the time, I’m starting running out of patience. Cause of these numerous jokes, I feel confuse, can’t take the temperature and I can’t reach out to him seriously because all vanish into some funny pranks. I know it’s his personality and he doesn’t mean bad deep inside but I’m feeling exhausted. Marriage is on the table but this is the only reason why I’m not ready to commit.

(He is American, I am not and English is not my first language which makes me sometimes very exhausted to make this efforts.)

Thank you for reading me !

Hi all, my partner is a US Army member stationed near Seoul and we’re seriously discussing marriage.

Before we take that step, I’m trying to understand what working life would actually look like for me as a dependent on a SOFA/A-3 visa. I would like to mention that I’m a foreign national and not an American citizen, nor a Korean.

Has anyone worked for a Korean company or an American institution (school, base, NGO…) while on a SOFA/A-3? Would love to hear how the process went and any things you wish you’d known. Thanks!

I’m 26F, European national living in South Korea, and I’ve been with my boyfriend (29M, Korean-American, stationed here) for 8 months. We’re seriously talking about marriage, and while my heart is completely sure of him, he’s genuinely my ideal partner, everything around the situation feels very fast. I never thought about marriage before him, I knew nothing about American culture or military life before we met, and I’ve been actively trying to learn as I go. (I’ve been into several long relationships before and I’m sure that something is sparkling with him).

- My visa gives me roughly a year left in Korea, that ticking clock adds a pressure and I heard about how long can be the processes for marriage with a foreign national, housing and everything

- He was previously divorced from what he calls a very mistaken first marriage, he dates with marriage in mind which has never have been my case before

- I stay at the barracks almost all the time but I’m already paying for my own place and now have to commute 3h a day

- His traditional Korean family is having a hard time accepting me, since I’m not a Korean woman even tho I’m trying my very best to speak my third language with them

- I don’t want this sacred lifetime decision to be ruined or rushed by the army benefits tentation, the clock or his family

- I heard so much about men in the army cheating, and being unfaithful, considering marriage lightly that it makes me insecure and doubtful

Any perspective, honest advice, or even just shared experience would mean a lot ! It’s a lot on my plate, I want to make sure I’m choosing him freely and surely, out of any influence. 🥺