u/Royal_Way6148

i was groomed. i think anyway im not really sure. whatever you call it fucked me up so bad i still get triggered by it and no body in my actual life knows about it or anyone i did tell isn’t in my life anymore. i think telling someone real like my parents makes it real.

i was 16 and i was so desperate for someone to notice me i did horrible things to myself for his pleasure. i read a story of a girl in my county that went through something similar at a younger age and she won the case her parents found out pretty quickly and pressed charges.

i sometimes wonder what might’ve happened to me if id just spoke up at the time. would i still feel broken? would i have gotten help or would i have been dismissed and left to cope alone? is that worse than no one knowing? is it worth telling someone now? i’m posting now because i could really notice the scars yesterday and i can’t stop thinking about it and posting anonymously on redit has helped before.

will i always go through this cycle of forgetting and remembering and falling into a depression forever without professional help. i don’t think im ready to go over the details with anyone yet.

why didn’t i know better i was 16? i know its not my fault he approached me but why didn’t i have the strength to say no? why have i never said no have i been conditioned to just accept unwanted sexual advances regardless of how i feel?

i don’t expect answers just needed to get that off my chest

The team leader who sexually harassed me is back at work and i’m still suspended for consensual sexual contact in the work place?? make it make sense

Context: one night a male member of staff started coming on to me and right in the middle of it another team leader walked in. i wasn’t exactly pushing him off me but because it was in the work place i was saying no and asking him to stop. after about a month we were both suspended pending investigation. during this month i was sexually harassed by a male team leader in the work van on the way back to work, it was around 10pm when this happened we were the only ones in the van and after make several sexual remarks he pulled the van to the side of the road and started asking if i wanted to touch “it” and have sex in the back of the van i shouted no repeatedly and asked to be taken back to work (if he hadn’t complied i would’ve jumped out the van and ran home we were pretty close to my house), i reported him the next day to the same team leader who witnessed the first incident. he was suspended the next day pending an investigation. i was told he hadn’t contested my report and that it was just a waiting game and up to HR what happens. at the time i was happy for him to get a slap on the wrist and continue working. now however i’ve been on suspension for almost 4 months with little to no word on what’s happening and he’s been allowed to go back to work and NO CUNT IN THAT BUILDING THOUGHT TO FUCKING TELL ME!!! i’m so beyond fed up of them protecting this man. it’s not the first time he’s made younger female colleagues uncomfortable but it’s always been brushed off as him being him (i wish i could use his name but i do really need this job) i found out this morning and everyone i know is at work and i don’t want to bother them. i am beyond embarrassed about the first incident mentioned in 3 years i didnt once falter on my boundaries and i do believe im in the wrong but i can’t shake the feeling im going to get sacked while he’s able to go on living his life and continue going to work like nothings happened and i know he’s there now telling anyone that’ll listen about what happened now that the investigation is technically over.

very very sorry for the horrible layout i just needed to get this off my chest so i can continue with my day and not let it eat away at me

hi not sure if this that right place to ask but how many women called beau out there?