Witnessing a circumcision party as a child messed me up for life
When I was 8 years old, my mom took me with her to a circumcision ceremony for her friend's son. I had no idea what it was or what was about to happen.
It was held in a large room with lots of people praying out loud. There were children crying and screaming i wanted to stay outside my mom refused made me stay beside her.
Her friend's son was 6 years old.
They put him on a table while his mom and my mom held him down.
There was no anesthesia. They started cutting the foreskin while he screamed. I remember it getting to the point where he seemed like he couldn't catch his breath, and people started blowing air into his face before continuing. Afterward, they used what looked like a hot metal instrument to cauterize the wound
Watching that terrified me. I became convinced that I was next. I started crying and panicking and m not even kidding my mom didn’t even look at me Everyone else seemed happy, smiling, and treating it like a celebration while the children were screaming in pain.
I'm an adult now, and that memory has never left me. I can't see a child crying in pain without immediately thinking about that day. Even seeing a child get a vaccination is sometimes enough to make me feel nauseated. It has affected me for years and has even impacted my sex life in ways I struggle to explain.
I know circumcision is considered normal or important in many cultures and religions, and I'm not trying to attack anyone's beliefs. I'm only talking about what witnessing that has got me to.
I cannot go to therapy maybe in the future but for now it’s impossible.