u/Ruthless_Finance

Unfortunately, it looks like running the Chicago Marathon has been taken off the table, as I’ve been dealing with some pretty rough medial knee pain that hasn’t gone away since my last long run three weeks ago.

I’ve seen a PT, gotten an X-ray, and have been stretching religiously, trying to work the pain out, but as soon as I run for longer than half a mile, the pain comes back.

The good news is that I haven’t lost any strength, I have full mobility, and while I can still feel some discomfort when walking, the pain is usually around a 1/10, if I feel it at all. Both checkups I’ve had as well didn’t reveal any weakness in the knee that would indicate something like an mcl tear.

Since I’m running on a charity bib and can’t defer, would walking the marathon be an option? Since this would be my first ever marathon, I have no idea what the expectations are or whether I’d be getting in other people’s way with my corral being G. I know the cutoff is 6 hours and 30 minutes, and I realize finishing may be impossible if my knee pain comes back, but I’m curious if anyone else has been in a similar situation and what their experience was.

I’d just hate to have put in 1,000+ miles of training, along with all the fundraising, only to not cross the finish line even if it took me 8 hours. I feel like I owe it to all of the people who donated to me.

Yesterday at 10:00pm my fiancée (F25) told me (M26) that she wanted to break up. She specifically said that she still loves me, but isn’t in love with me anymore and doesn’t think she ever could be again. We would have been together 8 years next month.

I was the problem. I can’t hide or spin it any other way. 3 years ago we got into a stupid argument that I can’t even remember what it was about. After that argument in a fit of spite and retaliation I downloaded tinder, created an account, and then deleted the app, but the intention and guilt was there. I didn’t tell her until a few months after I did that because I felt like she deserved to know and I felt bad about it.

After this she put up walls and completely shut down. I still wasn’t a perfect man. I grew up in a very manipulative household in which my dad treated my mom like complete shit. I then proceeded to act the exact same way my father did. I would hide stuff after arguments, always spin her complaints back at her, and was just all around a person I myself wouldn’t ever want to date. I would routinely ask her what was wrong but her fear of me blowing up or making her the problem prevented any deep conversations to actually resolve the issue.

The start of this year I made it a goal to become a better man. I still wasn’t fully aware of everything I was doing but I started doing more around the house, giving her more grace, trying to plan dates, and trying to genuinely listen to her. This was all too little too late.

Fast forward to about 3 weeks ago and she finally opened up about everything. She opened up about everything I’ve done that led her to not like me. She broke down for the first time and spoke her mind to me. It ruined me. I had nightmares in which I relived every argument in the third person in which I watched the fights we had but instead of me it was my dad yelling at her. I became the one man I swore to myself I wouldn’t be and I feel like such an ass. I couldn’t tell you why I acted that way. I couldn’t tell you how I was acutely aware of what my father would do to my mother and why i then proceed to repeat the same patterns. I did everything I could these last 3 weeks to say sorry but I already knew it was over. I did the small things I always should have done to begin with. I brought flowers home, got her the candies she wanted, picked up the slack and tried to be the man I always should have been. She always deserved it. She deserved more than the world and for 7 years I barely even gave her a minute.

The pain I’ve felt these last 3 weeks probably doesn’t even begin to scratch 1/100th of the pain she must have felt the last 3 years. I deserve to loose her, but I am completely devastated by the person I now see in the mirror. We have joint bank accounts, joint lease, and acquired everything together. My last act of love is to help make this separation as easy as possible for her, but I just want to beg everyday for her forgiveness.

Does it get better? Do you ever really forgive yourself? I’m overwhelmed by the dread of knowing at one point I had everything I wanted and I screwed up every chance she gave me to right my wrongs.

Yesterday at 10:00pm my fiancée (F25) told me (M26) that she wanted to break up. She specifically said that she still loves me, but isn’t in love with me anymore and doesn’t think she ever could be again. We would have been together 8 years next month.

I was the problem. I can’t hide or spin it any other way. 3 years ago we got into a stupid argument that I can’t even remember what it was about. After that argument in a fit of spite and retaliation I downloaded tinder, created an account, and then deleted the app, but the intention and guilt was there. I didn’t tell her until a few months after I did that because I felt like she deserved to know and I felt bad about it.

After this she put up walls and completely shut down. I still wasn’t a perfect man. I grew up in a very manipulative household in which my dad treated my mom like complete shit. I then proceeded to act the exact same way my father did. I would hide stuff after arguments, always spin her complaints back at her, and was just all around a person I myself wouldn’t ever want to date. I would routinely ask her what was wrong but her fear of me blowing up or making her the problem prevented any deep conversations to actually resolve the issue.

The start of this year I made it a goal to become a better man. I still wasn’t fully aware of everything I was doing but I started doing more around the house, giving her more grace, trying to plan dates, and trying to genuinely listen to her. This was all too little too late.

Fast forward to about 3 weeks ago and she finally opened up about everything. She opened up about everything I’ve done that led her to not like me. She broke down for the first time and spoke her mind to me. It ruined me. I had nightmares in which I relived every argument in the third person in which I watched the fights we had but instead of me it was my dad yelling at her. I became the one man I swore to myself I wouldn’t be and I feel like such an ass. I couldn’t tell you why I acted that way. I couldn’t tell you how I was acutely aware of what my father would do to my mother and why i then proceed to repeat the same patterns. I did everything I could these last 3 weeks to say sorry but I already knew it was over. I did the small things I always should have done to begin with. I brought flowers home, got her the candies she wanted, picked up the slack and tried to be the man I always should have been. She always deserved it. She deserved more than the world and for 7 years I barely even gave her a minute.

The pain I’ve felt these last 3 weeks probably doesn’t even begin to scratch 1/100th of the pain she must have felt the last 3 years. I deserve to loose her, but I am completely devastated by the person I now see in the mirror. We have joint bank accounts, joint lease, and acquired everything together. My last act of love is to help make this separation as easy as possible for her, but I just want to beg everyday for her forgiveness.

Does it get better? Do you ever really forgive yourself? I’m overwhelmed by the dread of knowing at one point I had everything I wanted and I screwed up every chance she gave me to right my wrongs.