i am currently having issues regarding my life.
honestly, i remember being in the middle of jail for 2 weeks a highly stressful part in my life that i obviously won't tell the internet about i was 17 years old. Now 18 i remember being very social with my friends.
it was last year about late august. a late night in august and i went to jail. so i thought it would be easy 3 meals a day to get out to contact your Family members (i did not have a good home life where i used to be at im at a much better place now wasn't fed enough to be normal weight back with my old parents left by myself)that was easy to me in my own mind.
and i was not let out for a whole week to make a phone call until i changed my hair into curtains which was strange. they only fed me twice a day with a small sandwich in-between they were doing this to teenagers in the cell block they weren't feeding us. i was a dumbass and i told my case and essentially threatened by people in jail the classic i would never do that.(I don't remember their names at all and completely forgot all of their faces so i cannot tell you who they are.)
they were throwing piss and shit peoples doors sometimes one part of the cell block was on and the other one wasn't. we usually weren't let out usually do to alot of fights happening. people would kick on the door for hours. i had an allergic reaction with the wool in the covers. i had to sleep on the ground so i didn't feel hungry. a nightmare essentially😂
i had some people talk about drinking water to be full a big horror show since at that age you need to be NORMAL WEIGHT.
and you need to be fed a lot of food. to live a normal life but essentially in this generation i did not see that growing up (not sure why a lot of issues with parents not wanting to feed their kids even though you have them in the first place just put them up for adoption give them to your parents or anything else besides you. YOUR KIDS SHOULD NOT STARVE.
2 Weeks in
I started to talk to myself and in my mind wandered out to God and Satan and apparently i had a conversation about this with a person in my own head in my own mind talking to myself. it felt like i was talking to a higher power than me that easily get me out of any situation possible and i blindly trusted it. but essentially 'God' he didn't tell me to say anything to anybody there or speak to anyone. so i went to talking to myself immediately. and since all this stuff was happening outside of the cell
Then i went to devereux georgia A lot of people know about this place i usually see them lurking nearby along with psychiatric facilities with vans. when i was outside i was there for 2 months. thank god for my therapist and all the Higher ups and staffs giving me advice about how to get out of there. It's just the way they handle the students there is weird it leaves a lot of room for bullying. thank god i have a strong head on my shoulders and was not affected by that at all and responded accordingly. i had a close friend in there for a brief time period. but the rest of the time they bullied each other making fun of each other. essentially not the best enviroment for mental health. when you stay quiet in those circles and actually follow instructions the people in your age group don't look at your some bigger person so they try to tear you down. of course the head school principal always had suspicion of me for no reason. usully what happens when you read to deeply into someone who does nothing. i got out after 2 months in that hellhole😂😂😂.
I went up north essentially but i was still talking to god. however a lady upstairs has not fed her kids and usually reminds me of my home life back at home ive tried calling cps but i don't see that much progress being made. ive heard her decline food from her children, abuse animals(which my mother had more respect for dogs and cats than me). of course I've tried everything but i have to let cps handle it because that is not my job. it was so horrible in Dec-Feb
My social life tanked because of my conscience speaking to myself and i am strong so i put up with it however i have to draw the line somewhere and say enough is enough and hold myself accountable because im not about to just listen to some stupid person i made up in my head in jail that goes away the moment i call it out.
technically ive speaking to myself asking myself why questions. (not voices or hallucinations but recently) pure bs since about mid sep 2025 to july 2026 nothing usually happens nearby and people usually approach people in the south so being up here seeing noone approach people in school was weird not gonna lie. but i have to be open to therapy but usually i lose my appetite and i start to lose all this weight and i don't want to mess with my weight or my puberty because im so behind due to me having scarily low weights like 5'10 110 pounds i remember being around like 5'7 90 pounds yet the doctors would weirdly trust my mom instead of saying this kid is afraid to speak up thank god i learn how to do that as an adult and i spoke up for myself in the end.
TLDR:Wondering if this is some illness i developed in jail. being strong.