Pain pump failed
Pain pump trial failed
I went in for my pain pump trial and my surgeon couldn't do it. He kept trying to insert the catheter and it wouldn't go thru. No space. Its bone on bone now. He tried several joints. But no dice. I'm so frustrated now. I'm just suppose to live in pain constantly. No peace, no relief, just constant never ending pain. I'm still suppose to get the total reconstruction done. My only hope is that when they do it they will finally have space to insert the catheter. But that's months away. I've lived with pain all my life. I was born with Juvenile arthritis, osteoarthritis, scoliosis and degenerate bone and disc disease. My body is breaking down and there is no stopping it. No cure. The scoliosis has worsen and spread. I now have 3 different type of it, in 4 place in my spine. The arthritis is in advanced stages. What the hell am I suppose to do. For years they have pushed for me to get the pump and I was hesitant to get it. My birth mom had the same thing. Its hereditary. She had it passed it to me and I have now passed it to my son. She had the pump and was an addict. She would have her pump and buy pills off the street or would steal them. She always blamed the pump for making her an addict. I know we that wasn't true and she was an addict long before the pump. But she became worse after. Stints in rehab I paid for. Kicked out of every one because she would sneek in drugs. It is my worst night mare. I've always knew it wasn't the pump but it made me never want one. I always said this wouldn't happen to me. I'm so careful with my meds. I don't take more than prescribed no matter how bad the pain is. And on good days I won't take them at all. But those days almost never happen anymore. I don't know what's left for me. I metabolize the pills too fast and don't absorb them anymore. My body get use to any med I'm on very quickly. I keep having to change pills and doses. I'm like that with any med I take. My GP is constantly adjusting my meds. My body hates me and is failing and I can't stop it. If it weren't for my son and husband I would have checked out a long time ago. How r we supposed to live like this. In this age of we can't prescribe pain meds because u MIGHT get addicted and become drug addicts. The DEA and government have made it so very hard. People in real pain that need the meds have to beg and plead for help and still sometimes don't get it. I love my surgeon he's amazing and has advocated for me every step of the way. My previous pain doctor told me that I couldn't get the pump because I'm over weight. And he didn't think that I could go without meds for 1 day to do the trial. So my neurosurgeon went out of his way to find me a pain doc that would help me. He tried everything to help me. He took one look and my scans and reports and literally gasped. He was dumbfounded that my pain doc wouldn't do anything but prescribe lyrica and a low dose opioids. He told me that I needed a pump and needed to have a total back reconstruction to fix the scoliosis and degeneration. I need space between my joints to untrap my nerves and fix the compression of my spinal cord. Its a huge surgery that has to be done in parts. But for now I have to be in constant pain.
If anyone has any ideas of what I can do for pain relief please let me know. I'll take miracles at this point. I've tried medical Marijuana and all it does is make me hungry and laugh at anything, funny or not. So that's out. Sorry for the rant. I think I needed to get this out with people that know and understand what it feels like to be in pain.