u/Sad-Artichoke-7618

TL;DR: I was ghosted after someone I’d known for years suddenly stopped responding. I’m not looking for people to guess why he did it—I’m looking for advice on how to move forward without ever getting answers.

I’m realizing that the hardest part of being ghosted isn’t even the silence—it’s never knowing why.

Someone I’d known for many years and had grown much closer to over the past year suddenly stopped responding after what seemed like a completely normal evening together. He had even talked about future plans while we were together. The next day I thanked him for the evening, and he never replied. I sent one follow-up message a few days later, and again… nothing.

It’s now been over two months.
I’m not asking anyone here to tell me why he ghosted me because I know nobody can know what’s going on in someone else’s mind.

What I’m struggling with is how to make peace with never getting an explanation.
I replay conversations in my head. I wonder what I missed. I think of a dozen different possible explanations, and none of them bring me any peace because I’ll probably never know which, if any, are true.

For those of you who eventually healed from being ghosted:
How did you stop replaying everything?
Did you ever stop needing an explanation?
What actually helped you let go when there was no closure?
I’m looking for advice from people who’ve been through this, not predictions about whether he’ll come back.

TL;DR: A man I’ve known for 16 years became a big part of my life again, then ghosted me after what seemed like a great night together. I’m trying to understand what happened and how to move on.
I’m looking for some outside perspective because I’m struggling to make sense of this.

I (45F) have known this man (mid-40s) since around 2010. We weren’t always close, but over the last couple of years we reconnected. We’d text, hang out every so often, and had an on-and-off pattern where he’d be very engaged for a while, then go quiet, and eventually come back like nothing had happened.
Over the past year, we got much closer. We’d spend hours talking, watching TV, cuddling, hooking up, and just genuinely enjoying each other’s company. He remembered little details about my life that even I had forgotten. He talked about places we should go together and made future plans. After one visit, he even said we should get another hotel room soon and hang out again in a few days.

The last time I saw him was in early May. I wasn’t feeling well that night, and he took care of me, made me tea, and was affectionate as usual. Nothing felt different or off between us.
The next day I texted him to thank him for everything. No response.
A few days later, I sent one more message: “Hey, awkward question… why do you go quiet after we hang out?” Again, no response.
It’s now been over two months, and I haven’t heard a single word from him.
The biggest difference this time is that I haven’t reached out again. Historically, I was always the one who eventually broke the silence, and he’d usually come back into my life. This is the first time I’ve simply stopped reaching out.

He hasn’t blocked me, and we’re still connected on social media. He occasionally posts or reacts to things, so I know he’s active. Around the same time, he was also busy running a political campaign that he ultimately lost, but even after that ended, I still never heard from him.

I realize that, from the outside, this looks like ghosting, and maybe that’s exactly what it is. What I’m struggling with is the disconnect between how caring and emotionally present he seemed in person and then the complete silence afterward. I can’t reconcile those two versions of the same person.

Has anyone experienced something similar? Did the person ever come back? And if they did, did you ever get an explanation that actually made sense?
I’m not looking for false hope or predictions about whether he’ll return. I’m genuinely trying to understand this kind of behavior and, more importantly, how people eventually made peace with it and moved on.