My husband of 20 years cheated on me and has been our whole marriage, with the girl he lost his virginity to in high school
I just found out my husband of 20 years, has been having an affair with the girl he lost his virginity to in high school, he claimed they were just good friends, but when I just discovered their cheating, he revealed to me that they’ve been best friends, and he did have romantic feelings for her and considered acting on it years ago, but claims he didn’t. They’ve had multiple meetings over the years, all behind my back, going to the lake together, going on hikes, etc. Her mom was dying and he was able to tell her mom that he would always be there to look after her. He claims that she was in an abusive relationship, so he’s been helping her through that. Because he would go to her whenever she needed, behind my back, he told me she has a heart of gold. For some reason that really stings. I however have had a chronic illness for 10 years of our relationship, I needed him, his love and care, but now knowing why he wasn’t around sometimes, he was with her, because she needed him. He said they’re best friends, but he loves her, too. People tell me the same thing, that I have a heart of gold and am the sweetest most light hearted person, and so loving, how could the man I thought was my everything and forever love, been with his high school chick, this entire time. Meaning our marriage was a lie, all of it, he literally ruined my whole life. We met when I was 26, I’m 45 now. He told me she was on drugs, and hit rock bottom, so he had to be there for her. I hate her and him, I know it’s his fault, but she has been with him the whole time, a married man. I feel like such a fool and can’t believe I wasted 20 years of my life with him. 20 years of lies and deceit and betrayals I really can’t understand why he stayed married to me, if he really just wanted to be with her. His mom died last year, and he said they reconnected because their moms passed, and I wouldn’t understand, literally using it again at me because I can’t connect with him that way.But I am heartbroken and devastated. I’m shattered as a human. I’m questioning everything. I don’t know how I didn’t see it. I have some brain damage from an accident and so my emotional conscience is completely beyond its limits. I don’t know if my damaged mind will allow me to survive this trauma.