I don't know how much more I got left in me. I literally had to switch cycles from spring summer to fall winter and I'm still struggling to get an offer and I literally don't know why. My resume get's me interviews but I guess I just keep bombing them or something. This is all just so frustrating.
I've been dating this girl for about a year now, she's my first everything and I deeply care for her. But in the past she was with this ex who was pretty abusive towards her like several years ago. I know that makes me sound like the worst guy ever but let me explain myself. Now I've been there for her at any time during the day or night to talk because I would hope that she would be able to help her heal and now she has a lot more going for her but it feels like nothing has changed. Recently I found out she still stalks his socials (because she told me) even though we talked about it in the past that it's not good for her and she had me think that she just has never done that since we got together. I SHOULD CLARIFY that she looks at his twitter and her towns obituary to see if he died or sum and also because she doesnt think its fair that she suffered and hes out and about doing whatever, likes theres no sense of justice. I know it's not like shes looking to cheat on me or anything but this guy and their relationship has been the root of a majority of problems in our relationship and I just don't know what can be done anymore if shes actively letting this guy haunt her life. I know scars like this never go away but I just don't know how I can help her move on. She's been going to therapy for a bit now but it feels like its just making things worse. I don't know. This is all incredibly frustrating.
im a little worried.....
im might be seriously screwed, got diagnosed with mono and ive just been fucked for the entire quarter.
Made a post here a while ago how I want to "break the loop" and I made a tracker to help me get my life back on track as a Junior in college. But I messed up again. For context, I have this Chemistry 3 exam tomorrow, there are only 3 exams in the class (and then lab) so its a pretty big deal. I made a thing where I separated the curriculum across 7 days so it's manageable and I'll be all good for the day before so I'm not cramming. 'Lo and behold and I am now cramming the NIGHT before my exam. I set the achievable goals and I just don't do it. I can only do things when you put a gun to my head and even then it might just go off. I don't know why I'm like this and I NEED it to change NOW, I can't keep on living like this. I want to be great and do good in classes but my actions just don't reflect that. I am just so sick of betraying myself in my one life that I have.