u/SadDay_M8

Hi all! I made a post a few months back across a few subreddits offering up an extra spot I had on my permit to do a multi-day trip up in Yosemite and summit Half Dome. I never had anyone reach out until about 10 days prior to the trip when I got a DM request on here. I wanted to go ahead and share my experience.

I won't share our names or locations so we can both keep our privacy, but we ended up trading phone numbers and we called before we 100% agreed to do the trip together. For context, we are both women of different ages (I'm 22 and she is 32). Right off the bat from that first phone call I already got good vibes from her, we both shared common interests and even though it seemed crazy at the time we both felt comfortable going for it. She is from the opposite side of the country from me, and even the other side of the world initially since she just moved to the US during covid. I was so excited to meet up in person and learn from her experiences.

The trip itself was amazing, and I truly don't think I could've asked for a better stranger to go out into the backcountry with. She was the kindest and most supportive person whenever I was struggling or needed a break. She is remarkably intelligent and I loved talking with her about our previous experiences backpacking and what we both do in our every day lives. We both share an interest in science and microbiology, and she had some really amazing advice for making DIY backpacking meals at home.

She was a real life saver during our summit hike of Half Dome from Little Yosemite Valley. I had two panic attacks, the first one being on the trail before reaching Sub Dome when I couldn't catch my breath and the second actually being on the cables themselves. She climbed herself right up next to me and helped me get my breathing under control. I don't know if I could've summited without her. I also suffered from heat exhaustion on our first night in LYV and she was so amazing about helping me out by filtering our water for us while I laid down. I ended up going home a day early while she stayed, but even then we still kept messaging via our In Reach devices to makes sure the other got home ok.

I wanted to put my positive experience out there in case there's anyone else who had a last minute opening for their own permit, or if you want to try to join someone else's. Definitely research each other before committing, but I have a new friend and backpacking partner for the future now who I probably never would've gotten to meet otherwise. The internet can be such a cool thing sometimes.

TLDR; my boyfriend is extremely depressed and I don't know how to help, and I don't know what to do because my mental health is also starting to spiral.

Hi all, me and my boyfriend started dating last August and officially got together in November of 2025. Things were really good, but in the last month or two I noticed he wasn't wanting to hang out with me very much and he just started seeming 'off'. At first I thought maybe it was something that I was doing wrong.

Then, one night last month we were hanging out I thought he was just really tired, but then he started sobbing. He told me that he's just so stressed out about work and bills. He works as an assistant general manager at a retail store nearly 6 days a week and often has to pull 14+ hour days when people call off because they are so short staffed. He also constantly worries about money and not being able to afford things.

We hung out normally maybe once or twice after that, but the last time I saw him he looked terrible. He hasn't been sleeping or eating, and when I tried to talk to him about it again he just cried for hours. Eventually he said to me, "I don't want you to spend your night off with me like this". I told him that I'm happy to stay with him and support him however he needs, but I would also be happy to leave and not take it personally if that would make him more comfortable. That seemed to freak him out more, because he started saying that he was embarrassed and then he went and hid in the bathroom of his studio apartment. I waited maybe 10 minutes to see if he would come out, but he just kept crying. So I left, told him I loved him and that I was going home.

That was about 2 weeks ago now, and since then we've only really been texting. His texts are nothing like they used to be, he just sounds robotic. I've been researching low cost and free mental health resources for him as well as looking into options covered by his insurance, but he says that therapy doesn't work for him. He was looking into admitting himself somewhere, but he wouldn't be able to afford the time off from work or the cost of a stay somewhere. He told me he got a referral to see a psychiatrist to get on antidepressants again, but he can't afford the copay to see the doctor. I've offered to pay for him countless times but he always refuses.

The thing is, my own mental health is in a precarious state. I understand the symptoms of the depression he's experiencing, my last ex dumped me because my own depression and anxiety was so bad that he couldn't stand to stay with me. I was also crying all the time and shutting people out and feeling completely hopeless, and then when my ex left me I was ready to let myself wither away. I finally started seeing my own therapist and psychiatrist, and I got put back on antidepressants as well as started new treatments that I'm still doing.

I felt like I finally got myself back on track, and then he started going downhill. In addition to worrying about him, my family cat recently needed to have her leg amputated and my relationship with my parents has severely deteriorated to where I'm looking to move out too now. All of this has happened within the last month. I don't know how much more stress I can take, and I don't know how much more support I have left in me to give to him or anyone else for that matter. I'm terrified that I'm going to start falling further and further back to where I was a year and a half ago when I've worked so hard to get to where I am.

I love my boyfriend, but I don't know what more I can do. I'm trying so hard to be there for him but he just pushes me away. I don't want to be like my ex and leave my partner when he needs me the most, but I also can't risk going back to my worst state. I lost 35lbs in 2 months and I couldn't even go to work for more than a couple of hours for about a month. However, he is clearly in that dire position now. I'm just at a total loss as to how to move forward.

What am I supposed to do now?