u/Sad_Change_376

I am pretty new (6 months) and pretty bad lol. There is one guy in most of my classes who I am very attracted to. He is a black belt, so although he isn’t the coach, he is very slow with me and mostly guides and teaches me. He has been nothing but a gentleman and totally appropriate. Our classes are small so we are partnered a lot. He’s a great teacher (better than the coach sometimes tbh). Drilling or rolling with anyone else, I have zero issues and am very focused on technique/not dying haha. With him, I find myself to be so distracted by the closeness.

Has anyone had this? Will I get over it? It’s not that it’s so horrible. I just worry sometimes that it’s obvious because I’m so focused and normal with everyone else and then with him I’m like a floppy little brain dead fish.

Do you just ask the specific coach? Or ask the gym who is available? Is there an etiquette to this? There are 2 coaches who I think would be good and I probably would not find it worth it with the others. I can definitely find a way to say this diplomatically (if it’s appropriate).

Also, I’m a very recently single woman and they are both dudes around my same age. If I ask for them specifically, there is no chance this will be perceived as some kind of…overture, right? Everyone has always been perfectly professional. I just want to make sure I am not missing something. (I am autistic like all of you hahah.)

I’ve been using crz yoga off Amazon because I’m cheap and haven’t been doing BJJ for that long. I have a large hip to waist ratio so was told Gaidama probably not a great option. I forgot my leggings for a no gi class earlier this week so decided to treat myself and buy some lulu wundertrain no line 25” and HOLY SMOKES. These are sooooo much better. I felt like I was sliding out of things better because of how smooth they are. They don’t move an inch. They covered my entire tummy even when my rash guard rode up and moved around.

For those who wear these, am I going to shred them in like 2 months?

10 years together and 4 kids under 8. I was already deeply unhappy in the marriage and finally told him I wanted to divorce. This triggered a manic episode. After two terrifying weeks during which he got violent and I had to kick him out, he’s agreed to intensive outpatient treatment, meds, and will go to a longer term trauma treatment program once stable. I know in my heart i want divorce but i fear I’ll never be able to do it because I’m afraid he will get manic again and hurt us or himself. Even tho he’s taking meds he’s not accepting diagnosis and I fear he never will. Long history of not taking meds or care of himself consistently…

Will he ever be stable enough to manage this?

My husband has been in some kind of mania for a week or two. He has been hyper fixated on me. Following me around the house, tracking my location, constantly texting me really weird and unsettling sexual things, demanding that I pay attention to him that I write him love letters that I do a whole long list of things for and with him. Random bursts of paranoia that I’m hiding something from him. He had a brief moment of aggression at the very beginning of this period and so I think even without the fixation I’d be on edge but all of this combined has me in a state of constant vigilance. I got him to agree to sleep elsewhere for the last 3 nights which helped some. Tomorrow he has agreed to go inpatient and I’m assuming I will experience some kind of adrenaline crash.

I have arranged as much childcare as I can afford for the next 2 weeks. My dad is on standby to fly down (tho he’s not always super helpful). I’ve cleared all nonessential appointments.I’m trying to line up a therapist (graduated from my own therapy many years ago but def need space to process).

what else? I have 3 kids under 6 and I work full time (sole breadwinner) so I don’t have a ton of time. I practice martial arts and exercise so that further reduces my time.

My husband’s psych suspects bipolar. He’s either hypomanic or manic right now. I don’t know enough to understand the difference. We have 3 very small kids so we’re all agreed he’s going inpatient somewhere until we can get him stable. I am trying to just keep things calm and being very agreeable without really engaging with the more delusional stuff. But I’m having a lot of trouble with the constant sexual talk and attempts to touch me. He notices that I’m not responding to his attempts at discussing sex and it’s making him either suspicious or very sad. I would like to be comforting and affectionate but he tries to turn every hug into something. And then similar to the talking can become very upset when I’m not responding in kind.

What to do that will keep him calm-ish?

ETA: he takes vyvanse for ADHD, which I guess is maybe not good for bipolar but they’re going to review when he arrives. He was prescribed trintellix for depression a few weeks ago which coincided with the mania so they told him to stop immediately. No therapy yet but the goal is to get that all set up after inpatient/residential treatment.