u/Sad_Username_365

I’m a bi guy who is actually primarily attracted to women. I would say it’s like 80-20 if I had to put numbers on it, but if I were to be out of the closet I’m not sure if that ratio would stay the same. I’m into slightly more fem guys and don’t have a thing for my platonic male friends on mh life. Sorry if that comes across like I’m trying to invade the lgbtq community for brownie points, but I’m being honest here.

I feel like a coward for just saying I’m 100% straight and sometimes I wonder if I’m actually just too dumb to actually know basic things about myself when I’m in my 20’s. I don’t have internalized homophobia but I do feel perceived shame from some people in my life. It’s not that they openly despise queer people, but if I were to just be straight up with them they’d probably perceive me in a different way and it’s not my responsibility to manage their perceptions of me in that way. I’m talking about both friends and family.

I don’t want things to be weird with my same sex platonic friends, no I’m not trying to fuck. I don’t usually want that either with women when I meet them at first, even though there’s more of an underlying “this thing could go romantic” direction sooner.

Take 2 extreme cases. Which situation sounds more terrifying?

1. Being forced to walk up a flight of metal stairs with no guardrails 10,000 feet in the air for hours at a time

2. Be forced inside a 2ft X 2ft X 1.5 ft cramped wooden box that is sealed shut for hours, like what the CIA did to prisoners suspected of being involved in 9/11?

So, is it the Fear of one slip causing you to fall to your death and accelerate towards the ground knowing you are going to die playing over for hours while you walk, or, being deprived of all external stimuli and being unable to move in a cramped box for hours, slowly suffocating?

TLDR: what’s worse, fear of heights and falling or fear of confinement/claustraphobia