u/Safe-Pea3349

Hi all

I am starting my nursing MSc in September (eeekk!)
I don’t currently have a laptop for my course. I wondered if any of you have any advice on good quality laptops that would be suitable for my studies? I’m not bothered about brand, I had a MacBook for my undergrad but I feel they may be overpriced due to the brand. I’ve been looking into HP/Lenovo. I’d probably like a mouse as well ideally.

I also have a disability (not physical) and I read somewhere you can get funding for laptops through DSA. Does anybody have experience of this?

Thank you!

Pretty much what it says in the title, I am 27F am struggling with the overwhelming feeling that new people do not like me. I started a new job a little over 7 months ago and I feel I haven’t “gelled” with any of my colleagues, despite trying, most of them are 20-25.
I always ask people how their weekends were, compliment people etc. I try to make myself available but sometimes I don’t enjoy sitting in the staff room because I find it quite loud and I struggle to do my work when I’m in there, as a result I don’t have a “seat” anymore at the table (everyone has their usual seats) and I tend to just sit in the corner and get ignored. I do not have autism but I do have ADHD so sometimes I might be a bit annoying and talk a lot.
Some things I have noticed recently have given me what I felt be undeniable proof that I am not liked:

Firstly, I am a part of a group chat (first time I’ve ever been part of a work group chat) but I recently became aware of a second group chat named “*name of our company* OGs”. I chalked this up to being a group chat with the people who have worked there for a LONG time unlike me who has been there 7 months so I tried to make it not as personal towards me although I can’t shake the little voice in my head that says “everyone is on that group chat except you”.

Then it was a girls 21st birthday last week. I wrote in a card that everyone signed for her, and contributed to her presents. I also stayed 2 hours late after work one day last week to decorate the staff room for her birthday, only 3 of us stayed. Today I saw some posts on instagram from people I work with where seemingly 99% of my colleagues my age (20-30) were attending a party for her birthday over the weekend, which I knew nothing of and was not invited to. This has sent me into an absolute spin and I’ve been crying for around 3 hours. I feel like such a child crying because I wasn’t invited to a birthday party it’s the most pathetic thing ever.

I want to stress I don’t think anyone I work with is mean, rude or unkind. People speak to me when I speak to them first and occasionally people will initiate small talk with me but I don’t seem to have any kind of relationship with them that they all seem to have with eachother and that makes me really sad because I just want to feel like I fit in. I don’t even want to be best friends I just want to feel the same as everyone else

Another thing is I am leaving this job in 1 week, and I posted on our group chat that I would love everybody to join me for some leaving drinks next Friday. In a WhatsApp group chat of 11 people, I got one heart react and nobody actually typed a response. What hurt the most is I typed a fairly long message about how I’ve loved working with such amazing people etc etc, and nobody said thank you or returned my compliment. Nobody said anything at all. They just changed the subject to something work related a few hours later. I’m now thinking of just binning off the leaving drinks because no one will come anyway and it will be embarrassing for me.

I spoke to my boyfriend and he thinks the people I work with are just (expletive), but I KNOW this is not the case because I’ve had this issue in previous jobs, actual in previous jobs I haven’t been lucky enough to even be part of a group chat and my colleagues would arrange to go out for social events and not invite me, I would only find out about it because they would be talking about “how great was Saturday night!” At work and I would just overhear. I feel noone is being malicious by not inviting me but no one is actively thinking “we want her there”. It’s like I’m just invisible.

How can I try to make myself more likeable? This isn’t the first workplace where I’ve struggled to feel like I “fit in”
I just don’t know what to do anymore

Pretty much what it says in the title, I am 27F and would describe my mental health as being generally good, I have a generally good relationship with my family and have a couple of very close friends and a boyfriend who I adore

What I am struggling with is the overwhelming feeling that new people do not like me. I started a new job a little over 7 months ago and I feel I haven’t “gelled” with any of my colleagues, despite REALLY trying, most of them are 20-25.

For example one girl I give a lift to work very often (at least once a week) which means I have to leave my house around 40 minutes earlier but I never dare say I can’t do it because I want to seem friendly and approachable. She’s never said thank you either.

I always ask people how their weekends were, compliment people etc. I try to make myself available but sometimes I don’t enjoy sitting in the staff room because I find it quite loud and I struggle to do my work when I’m in there, as a result I don’t have a “seat” anymore at the table (everyone has their usual seats) and I tend to just sit in the corner and get ignored/ if I do speak no one responds unless I’m speaking directly to someone, and no one tries to speak to me directly. I do not have autism but I do have ADHD so sometimes I might be a bit annoying and talk a lot. I wouldn’t describe myself as being somebody who particularly struggles with others facial expressions, hidden meanings or social cues. If anything I’m acutely aware of this to my detriment.

I’m generally not an unkind person (I hope not anyway). I have a strong desire to be liked and a strong dislike of perceived or real rejection.

I am very aware of human tendency to over exaggerate situations so I have tried to minimise my feelings and say it’s just “in my head” and the more I feel like people don’t like me the more they actually won’t because I will end up unwittingly isolating myself and giving off the impression that I don’t actually want friends, or, I will come across desperate.

A few reasons why I feel this way:

I am a part of a group chat (first time I’ve ever been part of a work group chat) but I recently became aware of a second group chat named “*name of our company* OGs”. I chalked this up to being a group chat with the people who have worked there for a LONG time unlike me who has been there 7 months so I tried to make it not as personal towards me although I can’t shake the little voice in my head that says “everyone is on that group chat except you”.

Then it was a work colleague’s 21st birthday last week. I wrote in a card that everyone signed for her, and contributed to her presents. I also stayed 2 hours late after work one day last week to decorate the staff room for her birthday, only 3 of us stayed. Today I saw some posts on instagram from people I work with where seemingly 99% of my colleagues my age (20-30) were attending a party for her birthday over the weekend, which I knew nothing of and was not invited to. This has sent me into an absolute spin and I’ve been crying for around 3 hours. I feel like such a child crying because I wasn’t invited to a birthday party.

I’m aware I probably need therapy as this is uprooting some unhealed trauma for me

I want to stress I don’t think anyone I work with is mean, rude or unkind. People speak to me when I speak to them first and occasionally people will initiate small talk with me but I don’t seem to have any kind of relationship with them that they all seem to have with eachother and that makes me really sad because I just want to feel like I fit in. I don’t even want to be best friends I just want to feel the same as everyone else

I am leaving this job in 1 week, and I posted on our group chat that I would love everybody to join me for some leaving drinks next Friday. In a WhatsApp group chat of 11 people, I got one heart react and nobody actually typed a response. What hurt the most is I typed a fairly long message about how I’ve loved working with such amazing people etc etc, and nobody said thank you or returned my compliment. Nobody said anything at all. They just changed the subject to something work related a few hours later. I’m now thinking of just binning off the leaving drinks because no one will come anyway and it will be embarrassing for me.

I spoke to my boyfriend and he thinks the people I work with are just (expletive), but I KNOW this is not the case because I’ve had this issue in previous jobs, actual in previous jobs I haven’t been lucky enough to even be part of a group chat and my colleagues would arrange to go out for social events and not invite me, I would only find out about it because they would be talking about “how great was Saturday night!” At work and I would just overhear. I feel noone is being malicious by not inviting me but no one is actively thinking “we want her there”. It’s like I’m just invisible.

this post is relevant because I don’t want to carry whatever bad habits I may have that are causing people to dislike me so much into my next job. I just don’t know how I am so socially stunted.