u/Saihate_no_Koneko

I’ve been working with a domestic abuse worker for a few weeks, and I keep mulling over different things she’s said and how they’ve resonated with me. One of the things that she said is that no-one is coming to save me. A friend of mine also said something similar recently.

I’m a young adult that’s lived a very miserable life, and the only thing that’s gotten me through it even when everything else felt empty and meaningless was the fantasy of someone eventually coming and saving me. Saving me from my painful home life. Saving me from abuse and bullying. Saving me from myself. But if such a person really doesn’t exist, what is there to hope or to even live for? I know that the obvious answer is for me to save myself, but I’m selfish and don’t want to suffer through all of this alone. I want others to be there and give me love and compassion, even if I don’t deserve it.

The grief is overwhelming enough to make me fall into despair. How do I deal with it before it completely destroys me?