Who Needs Awards When You Can Have These Instead
For no particular reason other than boredom I made a list of video game style achievements you can earn while in the Army. Feel free to provide suggestions. Highest score gets a Frosty (junior size).
Aerosol: Complete Air Assault School (10)
Blood on the Risers: Complete Airborne School (15)
Leon, the Professional: Earn one of the E3B Badges (25. +5 for True Blue)
Not for the Faint of Heart: Earn the Ranger tab (30)
Earn the Right: Earn the Sapper tab (30)
Mine’s Bigger: Earn the Long Tab (50)
Return with Honor: Complete SERE-C (15)
Lobotomized: Promote to Field Grade Officer (20)
Scoliosis: Become an NCO (20)
Bulletproof: Be found “Not Guilty” during an Article 15 or Successfully Appeal a GOMOR (35)
Victory Lap: Promote after a demotion (20)
First Time?: Divorce (10) (Repeatable)
Oak Leaf Cluster: Marry after a divorce (25) (Repeatable)
“Call Me Sir, God Dammit!”: Commission (5)
Straight out of Compton Options: Enlist (5)
The Dark Side: Complete Green to Gold (10)
Babel: Be qualified to speak a foreign language (20)
No Respawns Allowed: Deploy to a Combat Zone (40)
WELCOME TO THE JUNGLE!: Complete Jungle Warfare School (10)
Blue Balls: Complete Arctic Warfare School (10)
Ram Ranch: Complete Mountain Warfare School (15)
RLTW: Assess into the 75th (30)
NSDQ: Assess into the 160th (30)
Pass “GO” and Collect $200: Max the AFT
Return to Sender: PCS to where you completed BOLC/OSUT/AIT (10)
Who are you?: Become a Warrant Officer (5)
Jodie: Have your spouse cheat on you (15. +10 if it occurs on a deployment)
Free Real-Estate: Tactically acquire hand-receipt property that isn’t yours (10)
Should’ve gone Air Force: Earn any Aviation Badge (15)
Snake Oil Salesman: Earn the Recruiter Badge (20)
DA Directed: Earn the DS Badge (20)
Big Brain: Complete your contract/ADSO and ETS/UQR (20)
Smooth Brain: Serve more than 10 years, but fewer than 20 and get out (No TERA) (25)
Meet the New Boss: Take Command (10)
Temu SEAL: Earn the HALO badge and Combat Diver badge (40)