Advice
Hello, I was thinking of going to my first 10 day Vipassana retreat, but I am unsure if it's the right path for me. Recently, I've realized my body seems to carry a lot emotionally in the form of pain. If I feel sad, I'll get a headache or my pelvic area will hurt..the pain is quite severe so I usually will have to take pain meds so that I can work and not just be in bed all day. Ill also feel a lot throat tension if I need to cry or my legs will be super restless if I'm anxious about something. All of this pain get relieved when I have a good cry and my body feels like it released all the pent up pain. Lately a lot of the emotional pain has been due to grief and sadness that got very very stuffed down (for example: parent passing away 20 years ago and some familial abuse). But I've noticed that I'll get a headache over smaller things too. I discovered this through many years of float tank therapy (I sometimes do long 3-6 hour floats), ayahuasca (I tend to be very grounded during it so not much visuals), breathwork, yoga, therapy. I would love to not have so much pain and just release my emotions quicker. It takes a long time to finally release (usually through the above mentioned modalities like float tank) and I feel better and then ill be good for a bit and then I go through the cycle again and again. I've never done Vipassana meditation before. Do you think it would help me or solve this? I was wondering why the retreat is so long. Would there be a benefit of staying a few days or is it better to do the full 10 days? I've also read that it can really change a person and I'm slightly worried about that as I don't currently have a lot of support from family or friends. I also tend to go into a freeze state really easily where my body and mind just shuts down a lot.