u/Sea-Effective3613

When I was an 18-year-old high school senior, I was part of a Discord server with people I met online, a couple of whom were 14 to 15 years old. The server had a toxic, "edgy" shock-humor culture, and we all posted NSFW memes and gifs because we thought it was funny. At the time, I viewed everyone there as peers and didn't think too deeply about it, though I did find it a bit weird that the younger members were participating. I wasn't the owner, I never made sexual jokes toward anyone significantly younger than me, and I didn't see much harm in it at the time.
However, within a few months of turning 19, I realized the environment was immature. I spoke up to the other members my age and older, helped revise how the server functioned, and started filtering my own behavior.

Their is not a day that goes buy were I don’t think about what I did. Every time I see a pred I’m compare what I did to them . I frequently compare myself to Chris Tyson i am at the point were I think I’m better of gone and if I am on the same level as people like that I will do what I have to do. All I can say is I am sorry

I feel at least in my mind I made an unforgivable mistake even thought those around me have told me I haven’t.

When I was an 18-year-old high school senior, I was in a Discord server with people I met online some of two of which were 14–15. The server had a toxic, inappropriate "edgy shock-humor" meme culture that we all participated in and we would post thugg shakers and not safe for work memes and gifs cause we thought it was funny. I viewed them as peers and didn't think deeply about it although I did think it was kinda weird that they were participating in this with the rest of us I don’t really see much harm in it and I wasn’t the owner. I just got used to it but within a couple of months of turning 19, I realized the environment was immature and encouraged people that we cannot be acting like this that were my age and older helper revised the way the server functioned as well as filtering myself.
My therapist, dad, and friends have strongly assured me it was just immature teenage stupidity. But my OCD refuses to let it go. My brain keeps comparing my past to major internet controversies, telling me I deserve to be ostracized such as Chris Tyson. I am stuck in a loop where my mind just keeps firing reasons at me about why what I did is completely unforgivable, even though all the evidence and everyone in my life tells me otherwise. I can’t tell if what I did can or can’t forgiven but it’s gotten to the point where it consumes me

Back then, I was part of a Discord server with a mix of ages. Aside from a few of us who were 18 and 19, there were also younger high school peers who were 14 and 15, while the rest of the server was dominated by users in their 20s. Because we were all in high school together, I viewed the younger members as peers and assumed everything was just dumb internet jokes. We frequently shared edgy, crude, and inappropriate NSFW shock-humor memes in a shared channel. At the time, I did think it was slightly weird for younger people to be in that channel, but I didn't think too deeply about it.
As I grew older, I fully realized the environment was inappropriate. I stopped engaging in it completely on my own accord within a couple of months of turning 19. For the record, I am straight, have never had any sexual interest in anyone younger than me, and would never date anyone more than a couple of years younger than myself. I had absolutely no malicious intent, grooming motives, or bad intentions.
Even though my therapist, father, and friends have all strongly assured me that this was just immature teenage stupidity, my OCD refuses to let it go. I am trapped in a constant loop of guilt, dissecting past actions, and fearing that I am a bad person. I keep comparing my past to recent high-profile internet situations, like the controversy surrounding influencer Kris Tyson, and I terrify myself thinking I deserve to be ostracized by society.