bi curious, got no limits, extreme (in fact, curious on exceeding boundaries and turning more perverted).
SERIOUSLY: looking for a perverted jobud yet a emotional supporting friend to talk about life
If everything goes well, we could meet too given that you're for hyderabad/visakhapatnam too
I’m a guy in my early 20s, and over the past year I got very emotionally attached to one of my closest female friends. The confusing part is that I genuinely can’t tell whether I actually like her romantically or if I’m just attached because she’s one of the first people who made me feel emotionally cared for consistently.
She checks up on me, listens to me, remembers small things about me, and over time I think I started depending on her presence emotionally more than I realized. If she becomes distant or doesn’t text much, it genuinely affects my mood.
At the same time, logically I don’t even think we’d be very compatible long term, which makes me question whether this is really love or just emotional attachment and loneliness.
She has no idea I feel this way, so she openly talks to me about dating and other guys, and honestly those conversations hurt more than I’d like to admit.
For people who’ve experienced something similar, how did you figure out whether you truly loved the person or were just emotionally attached to the comfort and validation they gave you? And how did you deal with it in a healthy way?
I’ve known this girl (20F) for a little over a year, and somehow she became one of the most important people in my life without me even realizing when it happened. The confusing part is that logically, I know we probably wouldn’t work as a couple. We’re very different people with different expectations from life and relationships. But no matter how much my brain understands that, emotionally I just can’t detach myself from her.
What’s messing with my head is that I can’t even tell what I’m feeling anymore. Do I genuinely like her romantically, or am I just deeply attached because she’s the first girl I’ve ever felt this emotionally close to? She cares about me, checks up on me, remembers small things about me, and I think I got too used to that feeling. To the point where if she disappears for a day or doesn’t text/call, my mood genuinely changes. And honestly, that scares me a little because I don’t know if that’s love or emotional dependency.
The hardest part is that she has absolutely no idea about any of this. To her, I’m just someone she’s comfortable with, so she casually talks to me about guys she likes, people she finds attractive, past experiences, all of that. I sit there acting normal while internally it feels horrible every single time. I know that sounds dramatic, but that’s genuinely how it feels sometimes.
And now I’m stuck in this weird place where I know staying this emotionally invested is hurting me, but the idea of distancing myself from her hurts too. I don’t want to confess because I’m scared of ruining one of the few genuinely meaningful connections I have, but at the same time bottling everything up is slowly exhausting me mentally.
People who’ve been through something similar, how do you figure out whether you truly love someone or you’re just emotionally attached to the comfort they give you? And when a friendship starts affecting your mental health like this, what’s the healthiest way to deal with it without losing the person completely?
TL;DR:
Got extremely emotionally attached to a close female friend and now I can’t tell if I genuinely love her or if I’m just attached because she made me feel emotionally cared for in a way I’ve never experienced before. Hearing about her romantic life hurts, but I’m too scared to confess because I don’t want to lose the friendship. Don’t know how to move forward anymore.