u/Sea_Good_6603

I've been diagnosed with ptsd for over three years now and unfortunately it's never really 'gotten better'. I reduced my SSRI dose as I react to heat really bad (hives, heat intolerance) to half and I have definitely been more irritable, hypervigilant. Recently I snap at my partner for seemingly no reason- it obviously hurts his feelings and it crushes me because I don't know why I did that/didn't want to raise my voice/and it negatively affects our relationship. If anyone has insight or recommendations about how to handle snapping at a partner and stop that would be great

I have a fan of my work who would draw fanart, bought signed copies, make essentially a copied version of my book down to the font, premise, characters, phrases and writing style, ect. It obviously is a horrible feeling. Anyone have a similar experience? Please tell me how you dealt with it.

I can't talk to my mother without being triggered, I can't even look at her.

I still have her in my life and no I won't be cutting her off because that is unrealistic for me, so yes this is venting.

I had this realization last night, after speaking with her briefly on the phone. My whole life, I wanted to believe that somehow she didn't know what she was doing. But as I get older, it only grows more clear just how much she did. The never taking us to the doctor, the filthy neglected houses even though she was a stay at home mom, the teeth rotting out of my head, the constant moving sometimes multiple times a year for seemingly no reason. And it makes me sick, after speaking with her last night I experienced an emotional flashback, feeling stuck in that room in the middle of nowhere as a child. She often brings up now small pieces of what she did back then, last night it was: 'I never took you to the doctor'. Said so shamelessly, owning up to the neglect.

She often said how a mothers love is the only truly unconditional love and although I am not yet a mother I disagree, because only children are fully dependent on love, with no choice, with the mother being their whole world. Animals often reject their young, and my mother tried hard not to I suppose.

I am starting to accept that as times continues, I will understand this pain more, and she will grow old and tell on herself more and more.

I'm buying a new guitar! I've been heavily considering the jazzmaster. As a small woman, I have to ask how playing the jazzmaster is, because I am also considering the jaguar because it looks a lot smaller. I want a guitar that is easy to play, I have small hands. I've been playing for years, but mostly on acoustic. The only electric I ever had was the cheapest squier strat. I'm just looking for my forever guitar. Not something too big, or heavy. So far I am considering jazzmaster or jag. Would love to hear some experiences of women, or small people, people with smaller hands or less mobile fingers