u/SeannyCash03

I don’t know if this is a Sagittarius thing or just a me thing but I’m really good at comebacks. According to my brother I’m “the best at comebacks” and can “come up with them on the fly.”

My brother is right, I can come up with a comeback on the fly. I just have to be careful with what I say and when because I don’t say them in an offensive, insulting kind of way; I say them in a comedic, one liner kind of way. But that doesn’t mean I can’t use them as insults or that they can’t come across as such so I do have to be really careful.

I understand there are online spaces, like this one, but I mean in person spaces such as groups or sports leagues.

Where I live, there aren’t any spaces or groups specifically for binary trans men. Since trans men don’t have their own spaces they get roped into general queer spaces, which (in my experience) tend to be pretty feminine spaces because the people there are usually nonbinary people and/or trans women. Personally, I’m not feminine at all; not because I’m one of those trans guys that hates being feminine, but because I’m simply just not. This is why I don’t spend a lot of time in queer spaces.

I spend a lot of time with cis men because they don’t talk about Taylor Swift or what I consider to be “feminine pop culture” (for lack of a better term). I guess I just wish there was a space for masculine trans men.

Maybe I just need to put myself out there and find that kind of crowd.? 🤷‍♂️

Are you guys going to queer spaces (i.e. groups or pride events)?

Are you just living life and it just happens?

Are you meeting your partner through mutual friends?

Did you meet them online?

I admittedly don’t really put myself out there; I don’t really go anywhere or talk to anyone. I think part of it is because I don’t really know how to approach dating. Sometimes the thought of dating and trying to navigate dating as a trans guy is daunting.

Edit: I phrased this wrong; I talk to people, I just don’t get close with people. I do have friends I’m close with but most people I keep at a distance.

I’m starting college in a few months and I know for a fact the college has a queer club/qroup. I’m willing to try it but every queer space I’ve been in tends to be super feminine and I’m just not so I’m nervous.

I don’t know you believe in this but I’m a Sagittarius so I’m very quick to move on from people. If I get bored of you, I’ll drop you in a heartbeat and not look back.

I love learning new things. I’m constantly googling stuff about cultural differences primarily between Europe and America. I’m half Swedish so I find myself looking into Swedish culture a lot. I’m also good at European geography; I can tell you the majority of the countries in Europe, their flag, and their location on a map. I get bored easily so my room is fully of hobbies I never stuck with such as Rubik’s cubes, speed stacking cups, and brain teaser puzzles.

My bedroom walls are covered in music posters and vinyl. Almost everything from the 1950s to the present day (i.e. Johnny Cash, AC/DC, Guns N Roses, Green Day). I love concerts, I’ve been to over 10 concerts in under 10 years.

I’m really stubborn, have very little patience, and I’m very blunt which (obviously) hurts people’s feelings. Then they get mad when I don’t apologize because they got offended. My humor is pretty inappropriate, but also consists of one liners and comebacks. According to my brother I’m really good at the comebacks.

I love sports, specifically Baseball, Basketball, Hockey, and (American) football. I’m going to college to major in ASL/Deaf studies to become an ASL interpreter. I’m not big on affection; I don’t like physical touch, I’m not great at giving or receiving any sort of affection or affirmation.

I live in a house with 2 Scorpios and a Taurus.

I’m asking because I want to join one so I can be surrounded by people who share at least one interest with me (sports) and maybe make some queer friends because I don’t have any. I’m also wondering how the fuck you find them. Everything I’ve seen near me seems to be exclusively for gay men, not just queer men/queer people in general.

(NSFW just in case)

As the title says, I hate the idea of using a jockstrap to secure my packer but I don’t know the “best way” to pack because everyone swears by jockstraps.

I’ve heard packing underwear, skin safe adhesive, and trans tape/KT tape all work pretty well. I currently use a Joey pouch from GetYourJoey with their packing strap (it’s kind of like a mypack strap); I’ve tried pinning the pouch to my underwear but it pulled my underwear down and I didn’t like it.

My only problem is I feel like it sits too high which makes me look hard all the time. Everyone says “put the base of the packer right above your own bits” but when I do that I feel like it’s too high or just doesn’t sit right. But when I move it down it feels too low. Maybe I just need to get used to having something between my legs but I’m open to other packing options.

Btw, I have a 4inch silicone packer from Transguy Supply (probably a little too big but that’s what they had). If you want to recommend/suggest a packer I should get I am open to suggestions, preferably under $100 USD. I’ve been looking at the Axolom Echo, and a few from Banana Prosthetics.

I’m genuinely curious because:

1. I came out and transitioned young so I’ve never had to relearn how to carry myself or anything like that.
2. growing up I felt more comfortable around boys than I did girls. This resulted in me only having male friends.

Maybe it’s different when you transition later because when you’re young you don’t pay much attention to each other’s gender. Then by the time we all hit puberty I had come out and transitioned so I never became distant from my friends. If anything I got closer to my friends.

Also, all but one of my cousins are male so I’ve literally been surrounded by almost exclusively men my whole life.

Are you just intimidated by them in general? Have you had bad experiences with cis men before transitioning?

Please don’t be rude, I’m genuinely curious because I don’t understand.

⚠️ The post is linked at the bottom so you can read it first and then come back to read this or you can read this first then look at the post. ⚠️

One of the reasons listed (that really stood out to me) was that white trans people focus so much on being apart of a marginalized community that they forget they still have white privilege. They forget that they’ll most likely be viewed as white before they’re viewed as queer.

I can’t stop thinking about it because it reminded me of one of my friends. They spend so much time making being queer their whole personality that they forget that people look at them as white before they see them as queer. So they essentially feel bad for themself because they’re queer and have all these mental health issues (which they refuse to work on so that’s their fault) as well as physical health issues.

I sent that post to my mom and she said the same thing - that white trans people will be viewed as white first. She also pointed out that my friend is like that.

Since seeing that post I’ve payed a lot more attention to the white people in queer spaces, and the things they say. It’s also made me reflect on conversations I’ve had with my friend that are centered on them being queer and mentally ill (which is every conversation we have).

I don’t pay more attention to white people in an effort to discredit them or be insensitive, I just pay more attention to the way they word things and what they say.

Link: https://www.instagram.com/p/DYRy8K9jQHB/?igsh=NTc4MTIwNjQ2YQ==

I apologize if this has been asked before or if this doesn’t belong here, I wasn’t sure where to post this.

I’m genuinely curious because it feels like every queer space I’ve been in is super feminine and I’m not feminine (at all) so I feel out of place.

The last time I was in a queer space was about 6 months ago when I went to a queer youth group near where I live. I only went a few times because it was pretty feminine and just not what I was looking for.

I know this will sound bad/offensive and I don’t mean it to be, I just don’t know how else to word this… it was riddled with autism. Everyone there has these niche interests and I had no clue what they were talking about. Or maybe it was just stuff I don’t keep up with and because everyone was screaming about it I didn’t understand and just got overwhelmed.

I apologize if this isn’t supposed to be posted here, I wasn’t sure where else to post it.

I started therapy almost a year ago now and only recently started to be a little more happy and outgoing.

In January I had a bout of depression that lasted about a month, I didn’t eat for about 3 days, then once I started eating again I only ate once a day or I would try to eat but only take 2 bites and then be full; I distanced myself from everyone, I stopped participating in school, and wanted nothing more than to sleep. But I didn’t SH and I still dragged myself to school everyday.

For that whole month my mom would come in my room randomly and just lay on my bed. I think she was trying to make sure I was okay and was trying to get me to talk but I never said more than 3 words and then she would leave because I wouldn’t say anything.

Aside from my mom coming in my room, my parents didn’t really do anything about it except let it run its course. When I finally got out of it I didn’t really feel different. I still felt numb. I noticed that I’ve felt a little happier about a month ago. But I’m struggling to just accept that I’m actually okay for the first time in a long time. I wouldn’t say I’m completely happy but I’m in a better place than I was in a year ago.

Before that bout of depression in January, I had been “depressed” for a long time. It started my freshman year of high school. At first I was tired all the time, then it progressed to not wanting to get out of bed and being constantly angry. But I was still eating regularly so I just thought it was because I wasn’t getting enough sleep. Then, my senior year (this past school year) I had fallen into an actual depression where I wasn’t eating for days.

It’s almost like I feel like I don’t deserve to be happy and I don’t understand why I can’t just accept that I don’t always have to feel like shit.

I don’t really know how to feel or how I’m supposed to feel.

My last day at school was the 20th so I’ve been home for 2 days now. I have graduation practice & Graduation next week. I don’t really know if I’m excited, nervous, or if I just want it to be over.

I turned in everything (Chromebook, textbooks) on the 20th before I went home and now it feels like it’s official that I’m graduating.

I think I’m both excited and nervous but at the same time I can’t wait for Graduation to be over. I’ll be sitting there for probably about 2 hours from 7pm-9pm, and I’ll have to sit through speeches and hundreds of names being called (including mine).

I can feel that I’m kind of slipping back into a depression so I feel like I’ll be in a shitty mood during graduation.

I’m not sad but I’m not happy either. It feels like I just exist. I’m not excited or surprised/shocked by anything, I’m just there living it, but not feeling any sort of emotion. When I do actually feel something it’s mostly anger and half the time I don’t know why.

In January, there was about a 1 week period where I stopped eating. Then I ate snacks here and there. At some point I started eating again and I’ve been okay ever since.

I sit in my room for hours and just listen to music, and scroll mindlessly. I keep my head down at school and just try to get through the day so I can get home.

Two weeks ago I almost lost my shit on a kid at school. He was trying to get the teacher’s attention but she was busy helping other kids. He wouldn’t shut up so I turned to him and said “don’t you see she’s busy?!” He said “I need help” I told him to look at his notes, and he said “they look like scribbles because I was half asleep.” I said “well whose fault is that” and continued working. Thankfully that’s all that happened. It was just not my day and I just wanted to be home.

When we put our dogs down I didn’t feel anything, it was just something that was happening. We put them down 5 months apart, one in November and one last month.

I hate hanging out with people - even my family and friends. I haven’t hung out anyone at school all year, I just hang out in classrooms with teachers.

I really started to struggle in November. Right before Thanksgiving I stopped participating in my elective classes and only doing the bare minimum to pass my required classes.

I’ve been back in therapy for a few months now but I still haven’t opened up much; I usually just complain about stupid shit like school and my parents. My last appointment was about 3 weeks ago and I stopped eating the week before but I didn’t say anything because by the time I had my appointment I was eating again and I was fine.

I typed this at it came to mind so sorry if it jumps around.

Today, I was at school (I’m a senior in high school) and the senior class got their cap and gown. There was also an award ceremony and the seniors had to walk in paired with someone (kind of like graduation) and file into their seats.

I sat next to one of my friends who I’ve known almost literally my whole life. Her boyfriend sat in the row across the aisle from us and the way they had us walk out of the gym meant that I was paired with him so that meant we were all in the same spot outside.

While we were waiting all three of us were talking. At some point my friend mentioned that she had recently gotten a new piercing. I said that I didn’t want piercings but that I want to be covered in tattoos. Then I said that anywhere I get tattooed is going to hurt because I don’t have a lot of body fat. Her boyfriend said “well, the most painful spot would be your balls.”

Out of the corner of my eye I saw my friend looking at me with an awkward smile on her face that said ‘how are you going to answer this?’ I paused for a second then said “well then it’s a good thing I don’t plan on getting tattooed there.”

After that I got a little dysphoric and just wanted to be home. I guess it’s one of those things that I’m not thinking about constantly so when it gets brought up I’m reminded that I don’t have the parts I want.