:/
Planned my suicide
Before people judge. I don't have anxiety, I dont have depression or severe mental health.
I do however have chronic debilitating illnesses such as POTS and EDS, I lost my house I worked my whole life for due to a house fire last year and I have two beautiful children aged 13 and 10, I am 32
I cannot put into words my life, and my story. It's too much. I can only say the things I have been through are completely beyond what most humans can endure, for many many years in physical, emotional and mental torture.
I have tried twice before and got saved by paramedics and antidodes. Today I have planned to book a hotel 7 days from today, so I'm not around my loved ones to find me, and to overdose.
This fills me with absolute pure sadness as I would love nothing more than to live. I love life. I love my children more than anything. But my illnesses and situations make it where I cannot continue, and it is better off for them and for me to just go.
How do I put this into words for my loved ones? I am looking to spend my last day with my baby's, doing everything they want before going to a hotel and doing my last act. My biggest worry is making sure I articulate my letter the best I can, it's not about that I dont love them, I love them beyond words. I NEED them to know that. I need them to realise nothing about my decision was in lack of love for them, so I need to articulate this well as I obviously wont be able to converse after.
I need to go though, for everyone's sake.