u/Secret_Trifle_7864

Our nearly three year old retriever mix was attacked by an off leash dog nearly a year ago. Prior to that, she was very neutral around dogs. We used to take her to parks, farmers markets, and other places where we commonly encountered dogs and she usually just ignored them or greeted them politely, if allowed (which we rarely did). She was always submissive and a bit of a sensitive soul.

The attack changed everything. Now, when a dog is near she is visibly anxious. She wants to pace, whine, occasionally bark, and pull towards it. On walks, if a dog is a little ahead of us on a trail and she can smell it, she’ll also get worked up and spend the whole walk anxious, whining and trying to pull ahead so she can see it.

We’ve been working with licensed trainers and training DAILY (yes, daily!) on walks and outings where we work hard to create positive associations with other dogs being near. Things like the “1-2-3” game and dog-watching far away from dogs in the park have helped, but despite hundreds of hours, she’s still visibly agitated and anxious when near unfamiliar dogs. It’s tough because I can tell she wants to listen -and she usually can redirect with intervention- but it’s just like an automatic, knee-jerk type response at this point.

After talking with a trainer and our vet, they think trying her on anxiety meds may help. I have a vet appointment tomorrow for bloodwork and more discussion on the topic. But I’m so terrified of her losing her spark.

When there aren’t strange dogs around (and she’s not at the vet) she is goofy, loving, and happy girl. I don’t want her to be a shell of her former self, I just want to give her a chance to not be in panic mode whenever we come across a dog.

I’m trying to stay positive and even thinking maybe it could be a short/medium term thing to allow training to be more effective, but I feel so upset at the thought of “drugging my dog”. My dogs are truly my world.

I’d appreciate any reassurance, advice on this topic, or personal stories.

We’re considering purchasing a house that has a “recreation association” we’d pay monthly for.

We read all of the bylaws and rules and regulations and it’s ALL focused on the shared lake/recreation area. We are totally fine with this and would love to have those amenities which we could not afford to purchase fully ourselves.

However, we want to reassurance that a few years down the line, suddenly they aren’t updating things to police our yard/house/renovations. We aren’t messy people but want to put up a fence and possibly a greenhouse or garage if we were to get this house.

We’re asking our realtor about the deed language but I’m curious if anyone may be a part of a similar community, could share advice, or reassure us? Or who should we be asking what to find out more?

We were avoiding HOAs/adjacent things due to knowing what we want to make and do with our property likely not aligning with most standard HOA rules until we saw this house.

I’m in the final stages of interviewing for a role that I am highly qualified for and have extreme interest in. The company also has extreme interest in me according to direct communication from them.

The potential new company seems great. The pay is higher than my current role by ~$25k, solid benefits, much better culture and truthfully I’m desperate to get out of my current job due to changes in leadership and company direction.

However, due to an unpredicted one-off medical event, I’ve ended up hitting not only my medical deductible, but also the out of pocket max only 5 months into the year. Meaning, I’ve already spent well over $6k out of pocket on medical bills.

Also important: I do have a few minor ongoing health issues that do add up cost-wise over the year.

By switching companies, I’d change health insurance plans and start my deductible and out of pocket from zero, likely costing me a few thousand through the end of the year that I would not be paying if I stayed in my current role.

A friend said I could ask for a signing bonus (maybe $3-5k?) to help reduce these costs, and while that would be very helpful financially, I also worry that that could be pushing my luck and I do not want to lose this opportunity in this wild market. I also am not sure it is wise to disclose to a new employer anything about health issues.

I’d love any advice.