u/Segose-Crying

Making this post because of Miss May I - Masses Of A Dying Breed

This song sounds like the opener, especially with its spoken word intro that sets the tone for an album and that catchy riffing in the background. Chorus is the catchiest thing ever but for some reason they decided to make Our Kings an opener. And yeah i like this song but MOADB would've been a better start imo

Also i think Bones by Make Them Suffer would've been a fun one. Imagine if you're not prepared, pressing the play button and the first thing you hear is this I CAN'T BREEEEEEATHE

Also World Without A Sun by Oh Sleeper could've been great. Unfortunately it doesn't work because of the album concept

Intro:

Kill the desolation that hides deep inside

Hollow frontier is everything i see because I'm...

Blinded by nostalgia and days of future past

Everything i feel is a paradox

Verse:

"Life is an illusion and an excuse to feel high"

Dear friend i engraved these words in my mind

You put me on this needle, we're both victims

I'm to blame for knowing you

Interlude:

I want to change everything in my life

Every sungle person I've ever met

I want to forget them, erase them from my head

To feel free and not live in a retrospect

Bridge:

Rotting forever, rotting like this

Grieving is a mark on a wishing list

Rotting forever, rotting like this

Grieving is a mark on a wishing list

Pre-breakdown:

I'd rather feel like shit

Than feel like a wothless slime

But the thing in my blood

Makes me feel like I'm both of these feelings

In a human form!

Breakdown:

Victim of silence and thoughts in my head

I hate you all, you stabbed me in the back

Victim of silence and thoughts in my head

I hate you all, you stabbed me in the back

Outro:

I'm out

Need some advices, non native speaker🥹

Intro:

I never wanted to believe in myself

I never tried to run away from this inner self

Reflection is blinding me

I look in the mirror and see nothing

Verse:

I fear that this taste will kill

Self aware of tragedies made up in my head

Refrain:

Will i cut or will i stab?

This is the only question

Drinking from a wishing well

Losing my excelsior

Verse:

I'll push the helix of extinction

To drown in my own imperfections

Lying to myself, laying in a early grave

I'm ready to stop breathing

Or at least hear farewells

Chorus:

I hate that I'm never, never enough

I'm always such a fragile thief, walking on glass

With my ugliness that shines through wounds i left by myself

Suicide in slow motion, and i hate to be this way, i cannot hide the shame

Refrain:

Will i cut or will i stab?

This is the only question

Drinking from a wishing well

Losing my excelsior

Will i cut or will i stab?

This is the only question

Drinking from a wishing well

Losing my identity

Bridge:

Changing the colors and shapes of my life

In hopes to find a solace of mind

Changing the colors and shapes of my life

Although i know that it's all in my head

Outro:

I will stab myself to death

To see how it feels

To have a cleaner head

Tried to write something about a person with an eating disorder. What can i improve in writing?