Hi, I don' t know where else to post it, so i was on t for about 6 months my voice drop a bit and had a "t voice" for a while, but I had to stop and it been like another 6 month my voice has settled and sound more normal but im afraid when I go back on T my voice won't drop more and I will have this not quite deep voice. Does someone knows about it?
So, I'm 15 (ftm) and I have been realy depresed and strugling, I am realy bad being vulnerable and hate having deep conversations so I was planing on never telling my parents that i'm a boy, and last summer I reached a breaking and ordered Testosterone and injected myself until December, then my parents caught me. I know it was a stupid desicion but don't regret it, during those monts i felt alive, with hopes on life.They caught me, because My voice was begining to drop and they were mad and scared for me and so I had to confess. Then they told my terapist who thinks trans people are just confused. Its been a couple of months and I they just avoid it and pretend i never told them. My mother thinks I just dont want to be a girl but I have tried and my father thinks Im just got it out of the internet. I dont go to the therapist anymore I realy hated It. I haven't told any my friends because it would just make things uncomfortable for both and would think im a freak. Everytime they call me my daughter I die a little on the inside. I am a good student and a good children but I feel they just love an idealized version of me that is normal. I feel like shit knowing I have to wait 3 years to become an adult. I think there is no hope and if I get to 18 I have envisioned a life without my family or current friends. I just had to tell someone, it is easier without having to look someone in the eyes.