I recommend to go through my previous post "Setting the record straight" before reading this one.

GNC, passing .... etc

One of the goals of the "gender nonconformity to one's sex based gendered stereotypes" movement was to enable trans people to change their gender expression to that which did not match socially acceptable stereotypes for their sex group.

People used to use this line "clothes have no gender". Particularly for trans people, it was and is a way to socially normalize that it was okay for an AMAB person to wear dresses, and an AFAB person to wear trousers.

But do you notice something here? the sex of the trans person is acknowledged in the language, which developed in a way to separate sex and gender. Sex not equal to gender identity forms the basis for the trans movement.

The implications are profound.

Trans people's sexuality

Back then, the people who gave trans people THE certificates, they made sure that the trans individual had a firm understanding that post transition they shouldn't be changing from straight to homosexual or from homosexual to straight labels, if the target of their attraction stayed consistent.

However, in general -

1. gay men aren't attracted to trans women.
2. lesbian women aren't attracted to trans men.
3. straight men who are attracted to trans women, are not into men.
4. straight women who are attracted to trans men, are not into women.

yet based on technicality of sex and sexual attraction labels, straight partners of trans people would be considered bi/homosexual, which does not do justice to the totality of the trans experience, and erodes the sexuality of the straight partners.

On the other hand, using labels based on gender identity also does not do justice to the totality of trans experience, like for example, no one should be forced to date trans people simply based on identity alone.

How do you feel about pictures taken before you transition?

I began transitioning when I was about 11/12 and hate most of my early/pre transition pictures because it just doesn't look right and I know if anyone finds them I'll be outed entirely. It also just doesn't look like me, I feel really disconnected looking at pictures that clearly show me as a female.

But when I bring this up to my mother she said that I shouldn't because "its who I was" back then, which doesn't make sense because A - didnt know transexualism was a thing back then and B - how the fumble were we meant to know as a toddler?

This is like half and advice thing and your own personal experiences

I’m 20 ftm, known im trans since I was 10. im not on hormones or anything, but I pass decently when im not talking.

It’s not that im not trans, I know I am, and I don’t want to be seen as a girl or whatever. I want to be a man, I want a flat chest and everything that comes with T.

But I just don’t want to do this anymore. im sick of being difficult, I don’t want my life to be this complicated. Im sick of being stared at in toilets, I don’t date because I don’t know who would be into me as I am, pronouns being sosmthing for people to remember and not letting my friends around my family because they don’t acknowledge im trans. my life would just be easier as a girl.

All my teen years I never presented as a girl and I wonder if I should just try it.

I really don’t know. In 2023 I let my hair grow out a bit because of a bad experience at a barber and constantly getting shit haircuts. I didnt like being called she and being seen as a girls but I felt more free in not needing to try to pass. Im just sick of how this impacts my life

Edit: I also am a transmedicalist, im not one of those ‘I went trans in 2020 but like being a girl’ situations

I know it’s mostly online but everytime I see “transmascs” trender ftms or “tboys” etc.. they always hate anything to do with masculinity. Not to get into gender stereotypes and what not but their hobbies are usually female dominated, they speak in a way that is associated with women, they dress androgynously at most but will wear pushup bras and makeup, and their short haircut is usually a wolf cut. Now I’m not targeting feminine trans men or transgender men who have feminine hobbies, for example I used to do ballet at competition level (was allowed to use male uniform) but stopped eventually because of puberty and bad dysphoria, was still able to continue with other sports at least. But these people don’t seem to have any masculine aligned thoughts or personalities. They also HATE men, hate anything to do with them and will go out of their way to specify CIS men. They also avoid the gym like the plague but claim they want a masculine figure and will get mad when someone recommends that as a passing tip. They genuinely just seem to be cis women who want to be special and different. I genuinely don’t understand it at all, is there an actual reason for why they do this?

The women in my family have deep voices, so I'm already a contralto. My voice dropped naturally about an octave when I was 13 and I'm 17 now. I'm starting testosterone and I want to know will I have a second voice drop? If so how will I end up sounding? Also is there still a chance for any good change in my bone structure or have I left this too long and I'm just cooked?

As Ive since found myself aligning with transmedicalism, I‘ve started seeking more answers from anti trans med ppl about genuinely why they think theyre trans if they dont have dysphoria. I posted a rather neutral question on r/ tooafraidtoask but it got immediately removed bc being trans is a hot topic rn with a lot of discourse ig. Does anyone know a place where the mods aren’t cowards and I can ask my questions?

Also to clarify—Im absolutely a pacifist when it comes to conflict and I try to keep an open mind when talking to people with differing views (even if i disagree) so Im not asking for subreddits to raid or anything but just a common ground place to ask questions and receive answers.

Had an appointment today with UCHealth, and my doctor doesn’t want to give me a gender dysphoria diagnosis bc apparently that means I have confusion about my gender, and she said that I don’t have confusion, that it’s pretty obvious that I am very secure in my identity as a trans man. My biggest issue with this is as I’m on Medicaid, the only way they will cover gender affirming care and surgeries is if I have that diagnosis. She even said she could diagnose me with something like trans man something or another, I don’t remember exactly what she called it, but a diagnosis that had to do specifically with me being a trans man?? She also decided to start me at 25mg, despite the fact that I have been on T before at 80mg. I literally explained to her that I had originally been at 60mg to start and they brought me up to 80mg bc my T levels were low. I went into this appointment feeling really hopeful, and now I’m just confused and unhappy.

Hey everyone. I come to this sub because I trust yall. So, I am starting a new job, and this is the first time that I am doing so post legal transition, so all my documents reflect my real name and sex. However, I am unsure if I need to disclose my previous name just to HR for the sake of background checks. I'm unsure if those names are going to come up regardless of if I disclose, and if they are, I'd rather get ahead of it. I am a healthcare provider, so the background check they run on me is slightly more comprehensive than what a non-healthcare employee would get. Does anyone have any insight?

For context, I have two legal deadnames because I had my birth name and I had a married name (I am also post-divorce, but I changed my name before it was even finalized, so I never reverted to my birth name after the divorce).

Genuinely the amount of backlash you get for going against it is repulsive. “We’re here/categorized as transmeds because we see transsexualism for what it is- a serious medical condition that should be respected,” okay, start by respecting it as a serious medical condition.

Oh you’re tired? DIY levothyroxine and never see an evil gatekeeping doctor or get actual blood panels monitored by a doctor that knows what to look out for, never see a professional to rule out any other causes, just DIY!!! Who cares if it’s hypothyroidism, hyperthyroidism, tumors, cancer, anxiety, depression, diabetes, sleep apnea, a bad mattress, the common fucking cold, or whatever other bullshit they’ll say because YOU know what’s best and YOU should be allowed to take as much synthetic thyroxine as you want!!!

Who cares that the medication involved can and will cause serious irreparable harm if used incorrectly and should be prescribed and monitored by a professional, especially if we want to KEEP it medicalized so that those of us with nothing can actually afford and access it, what matters is that you want it right now with no diagnosis, no rule-outs, and zero oversight.

“It doesn’t affect you,” except it does, has, and will continue to.

Telling teenagers with half developed brains, based on nothing other than what they said in a post, that they should illegally backalley a medication they’ll likely be injecting into themselves because god forbid they wait a few years is insane. It’s the kind of bullshit I’d expect from any other sub that treats our condition as a joke, not this one.

I was wondering how people feel about including trans-related health (hormones and/or surgery) in general health history questionnaires. For example, going to the dentist and having to list medications and past surgeries.

I know as transmedicalists, we consider being trans a medical issue, but I can't deny that I hate all the stigma and weird interactions that comes with outing myself as trans, listing medicine and procedures that have nothing to do with dental care. Would I pose risk to myself if I just left out this information, at least just for the dentist?

I’m ftm and 3 years under HRT. I pass without my t-shirt but I feel like my nipples are a lil too big to look manly.

I had an ecography (without telling I’m trans) and got a diagnosis for Pseudogynecomastia, meaning it’s almost all fatty tissue rather than glandular tissue. The doctor told me it can be easily removed with a peri-areolar incision and/or liposuction.

Now my question is: can I ask a plastic surgeon to perform it without disclosing that I’m trans (actually intersex). I know the doctor-patient relationship is important and all, but for my own safety, it’s not currently possible for me to be completely transparent in my country.

Discursos como "voce nao deveria odiar ser trans" "ser trans é muito bom, pois goce nao vive em um padrao" entre essas varias coisas sempre estao rodiando a internet e eu nao poderia estar mais puto com isso.

Voce passa uma parte grande da sua vida sendo forçado pela sociedade e por si mesmo a ser oque querem que voce seja, enquanto voce sente uma dor mortal dentro de voce, e quando vc decide tratar isso as pessoas te vem como alguem futil, como uma fase, moda etc, sem contar nos multiplos tipos de violencia que uma pessoa trans recebe.

A internet e redes sociais apodreceram e começaram a distribuir ideias como de alguem nao pode odiar viver isto praticamente, que é algo maravilhoso, ter multiplas perspectivas, ignorando totalmente a dor interna e externa que todos nós vivemos

Apenas...ridiculo

Sorry I know I say this every week, but I can’t stand dating. Not only am I asexual, but I’m pre everything, which makes me easier to fetishize. The only people who have ever wanted me were chasers. I also have BPD, anxiety and depression (diagnosed) and no one wants to deal with that. I’m completely unconvinced that anyone will ever see me as a real man. People either fetishize me and treat me like a baby or misgender me. I cannot date another tucute but where tf am I supposed to find another asexual truscum person? It’s so fucking lonely and I’m so tired of people IN relationships saying “ohh love yourself first!” “Ohh it’s not so bad being single!” Dude I NEED someone to help me function .

i have seen a lot of transmeds lately trying to appeal to tucutes by saying if euphoria is present, then dysphoria is also there implicity. i disagree heavily and i think this idea is harmful to everyone both transsexuals, and cis people who think they are trans. i will explain why.

every single destransitioner has cited intense euphoria as the reason for them going through with medical transition. many trenders have identity and self esteem issues, and find solace in chasing a sort of character or presentation. chasing a result, making an extremely high risk change with severe consequences. while many transsexuals have euphoria as well, although i would more accurately call it relief, the distinguishing factor between transsexuals and cis people who end up detransitioning, hurting themselves and our community, is dysphoria around sex characteristics.

so conclusively, euphoria is not indicative of transsexualism. it is often indicative of a cis person chasing adrenaline, escaping trauma, escaping their own identity, etc. and i would personally know because i have no impulse control, an additive personality, and am an adrenaline junkie myself. (about other things, not about being male).

i want to be clear, that desiring traits of the gender you want to transition to is NOT what tucutes mean when they say euphoria. i remember wanting my forearms, and other very specific traits to match the boys in my grade before i came out. i was more able to admit to myself these feelings of jealousy and envy rather than the disgust over my own body, which were buried under dissociation. the difference is, for a trender, it is not about wishing you had boy/man [insert trait], but it is about the desire to control your identity.

if your dysphoria is "i wish i was treated the way boys are treated and had the social experience of being a boy" rather than "i wish i had forearms like a boy" and this is a consistent pattern where the "dyphoria" is not about physical characteristics, than your dr should screen very heavily for differential diagnoses imo. for a trender with "gender euphoria," the desired characteristics of the opposite gender are the ingredients that would allow them to control, change, fix themselves. it is about IDENTITY, not BODY. this is why i think the deserted island test is absolutely perfect. would you have dysphoria and desire transition on a deserted island living alone forever or with monkeys and birds or something. a trender would say no by definition.

sex dysphoria contrasts euphoria in every way. it is subtle, consistent over years, and causes dissociation and withdrawing rather than feeling alive and like you are chasing something. i believe that in the majority of cases for the majority of people, reflecting on the presence of sex dysphoria or not will help them figure out if they are trans. but no one is doing that, because dysphoria as being the main sign of transsexualism is a statement that 99% of trans tiktok sees as the birthplace of Satan.

we are not a club trying to recruit members bros (that is the tucutes over at egg_irl). the point of this community and this set of ideas is to advocate for the needs and rights of transsexuals to access adequate medical and legal accommodations. so it does not make sense for you to just expand the definition of who qualifies as transsexual, it makes sense for you to accurately explain the symptoms of this medical condition and be clear what they are and what they are not. same with people who make entire accounts around transmed ideology and then respond to every single specific nuanced question they get with "transmed = you need dysphoria to be trans" without elaborating or answering their question. because people have different definitions of what dysphoria is lol. i have met people who deadass think dysphoria is preferring clothes associated with the opposite gender. i have met people who only have social dysphoria, etc.

so, i hope this is some food for thought. lmk if u disagree or agree. but please be careful not to encourage people to medically transition if they do not have physical dysphoria.