u/Select-Salt7810

it has been weigh on my heart for so long. for context i also have ocd. and also i dont reject all hadiths but this particular topic is killing me, it makes me overthink it makes me just wanna do the bare minimum and it makes me scared of getting close to Allah. and also it just doesn’t make any sense. the idea that the closer we are to Allah the more hardships we get just doesn’t sit right with me and i also started reading the quran with translation and after reading it there are so many instances where Allah says that those who are righteous they get their reward yk both in this word and hereafter. so what do u guys think about it? suggest me anything that might help

it sometimes get rlly hard to accept that i wont ever get to have a healthy childhood. my father is hella abusive, he curses us out, have physically abused us asw, treated my mom like trash, whereas normal fathers give dua to their children mine wishes bad things upon us, he says thing i cant even expla but he said some wild, disgusting, messed up things that no father should be saying and it genuinely damages my mental health so freaking much like i genuinely dont wanna listen to these words its so so disgusting and i get so sad sometimes thinking why do i have a father like this? and i astagfirullah sometimes envy other people so much for having a normal father, not even a lovung but just a normal father, and healthy family environment. and it hurts rlly bad so how do i accept this? how do i heal? and sometimes when he does things i scream to make it stop cause i genuinely want him to stop before it creates further damage to my mental health but then i feel bad cause we are not supposed to be raising our voic in front of our parents so what do i do to stop this? and my brother on the other hand also treats my mom bery bad he screams at her and i feel so bad for her? like genuinely he dont deserve to het treated like this from her huaband as well as her son? and my brother also treat me bad asw at times and my siater also does things to hurt me and she also troubles my mom alot. so ut just hurts tohave such a family yk and i yearn to have a healthy family

so i’ve always been against haram relationships and i never wanted to be involved in it but unfortunately i ended up in one last year and i’ve been consumed with so much guilt amd it was so hard to leave cause i didn’t wanna hurt the other person cause he seemed so in love but i kept praying to get me out of it and if its mean to be we’ll eventually reunite in a halal way. so a few days ago something happened that made it easy for me to leave him however before i realised i was so attached to him, i imagined a future that wont happen. and i feel so heartbroken yk? and when it ended i was so content and grateful that i got out of it early on before it got worst but them the next day i started missing him and couldn’t stop crying. its a repeated cycle one moment im so happy and at peace about every thing and the next moment i start crying and my heart hurts. infact yesterday i thought i’ve finally moved on and there was so much hope in me and i was so happy i was almost sure that i’m totally over it but then again today i woke up with him thoughts and after a while started crying and even now when im writing this my hurt is in pain. its been only a few days so its understandable. but how long is it gonna go like this? when will i know that im fully healed? and can someone(a muslimah) who’ve been through this and moved on talk to me please? i rlly need some counselling or support rn

so i’ve always been against haram relationships and i never wanted to be involved in it but unfortunately i ended up in one last year and i’ve been consumed with so much guilt amd it was so hard to leave cause i didn’t wanna hurt the other person cause he seemed so in love but i kept praying to get me out of it and if its mean to be we’ll eventually reunite in a halal way. so a few days ago something happened that made it easy for me to leave him however before i realised i was so attached to him, i imagined a future that wont happen. and i feel so heartbroken yk? and when it ended i was so content and grateful that i got out of it early on before it got worst but them the next day i started missing him and couldn’t stop crying. its a repeated cycle one moment im so happy and at peace about every thing and the next moment i start crying and my heart hurts. infact yesterday i thought i’ve finally moved on and there was so much hope in me and i was so happy i was almost sure that i’m totally over it but then again today i woke up with him thoughts and after a while started crying and even now when im writing this my hurt is in pain. its been only a few days so its understandable. but how long is it gonna go like this? when will i know that im fully healed? and can someone who’ve been through this and moved on talk to me please? i rlly need some counselling or support rn

i requested for installment and it got approved they asked me to pay admission + registration fee + half the tuition fee by 30 april and i did. the remain fee i had to pay by 31st may and 30 july so we were attempting to make a payment today amd the iban does not exist? im so confused rn i wrote them email tho but tmr’s sunday so i have no idea if they are gonna reply by tmr and since tmr’s the last day for me to pay the amount i dont wanna get any penalties what do i do?

• im going insane rn pls HELP. so i always wanted to go in a creative field but i couldn’t cause ivs is too expensive, tip was too far away. so i decided to go for iobm,secured my admission in iobm buisness psychology major,paid the fees and everything. now buisness psychology actually sparked my interest and i was now fully content in my choice of field amd university finally and then an opportunity popped up. so someone my mom knows from her office is actually in tip’s admin so my mom casually discussed with him regarding my uni tou khair he gave her infos said that if my merit is good which it fairly is i can get 100% scholarship, the transportation isn’t as high as we initially thought it was, but regardless it’s so far away that travelling back and forth from there feels like a nightmar but apparently the hostel is free of cost? so i can try there. but i honestly am so so confused like a few months ago i’d be over the moon if i was going there but rn im rather anxious? maybe cos i had already set my mind in iobm but still if i am getting full scholarship it would be pretty dumb of me to not go right khair so my question is

what’s better for me career wise? textile designing from tip or buisness psychology from iobm considering i plan on going abroad after graduation and my long term goal is to run my own buisness.

pls give some genuine advice i beg😫

suggest a good sunscreen that has the best sun protection and doesn’t leave tiny bumps on your skin. these are my main concerns and bonus points if it’s affordable