u/Sensitive-Wall-8140

Do you ever notice when the girls are trying to figure something out Maggie ALWAYS weighs in with something someone else already said?

Like for example, Paige was trying to remember the song Crazy Rap by Afroman by a lyric and someone else said a lyric with Afro in it and she just said “ Afroman.”

Or like she will weigh in unhelpfully to act like she knew all along but she’s just using pieces of what others said to say like “ yessss nickelback!”

I also hate the way she says yes.

Hello!

* not looking for obvious advice like “ figure out finances.” I want to know where I’ll be surprised at how expensive and inconvenient this could become. Thank you!*

I’d love to talk to someone who has gone through initiating a divorce as a stay at home mom with no income.

I never thought I’d be here. I have 5 kids under 12 and my husband is a high earner and growing. For a myriad of reasons, I want to leave but due to a special needs child and just pure volume of children, I cannot work. I probably cannot work full time ever again. I’m 40 and he is 43.

I cannot prove infidelity but there was intent. I do not pay any bills in theory or practice; he has an office job and handles everything there. He is not a sleazy low life, we just hit a rough patch and he did something I cannot forgive.

Is there anyone who has gone through this? I do not even have money for a lawyer consultation without him seeing it. My situation is not dangerous or violent or even really unpleasant day to day, I’m just looking to begin the process of leaving.

Cringe.

Where do I start. I’m a stay a home mom of a big family. Married 12 years together 17.

A move to a new state exposed a lot of bad in me. An enmeshed narcissistic family of origin had me struggling with shame and much of it landed on my husband. He was in tears at work over my threats to divorce him and saying crazy stuff. It’s a situation where I truly wish I could time travel and I’ve expressed my remorse and radically changed behaviors. From a personality standpoint my husband and I are ideal. Making up is always pretty easy, or has been.

During this time of turmoil we were close friends with another couple with a bad marriage. The woman in that couple eventually began trying to inappropriately contact my husband. This behavior is typical of her, she was not someone to befriend, retrospectively. My husband did not shut it down. He did not say anything romantic or sexual, but she told him to delete the texts and he said “ just dm me.”

That was truly the extent of it. She did not dm him. He has apologized. Said he was drunk. Says it was clumsy wording, a joke, then he “ liked the attention.” Has says he regrets it and also wishes he could have just ignored her.

We have had zero fidelity issues until this. Like, he didn’t even look at other women. All he wants is a good great life. I can see how happy he is when things are just smooth. He is the kind of guy who is happy when I am.

I don’t want to blow up my life or my kids lives and I know that my indiscretions are arguably worse ( I said I didn’t love him) but I don’t see him the same anymore. Since he said what he said to that woman, I kinda don’t like him?

It’s been about two years. I have played this off socially with this woman as I did not care but I won’t tolerate anymore accusations….her husband went through her phone and confronted my husband. My husband came clean to me about the confrontation only months later, reason being that I was mentally unable to hear the information at the time? There is some credibility to that. He was embarrassed and they both decided it was “ nothing.” I still think I should have been immediately informed.

I guess I’m asking like……what do I do? It’s hard for me to move past it. I think that tearing my family apart over this would be crazy; but how do I get past this feeling g of “ before” and “ after?”

I’m sorry if this makes anyone mad, everything on here seems to. I’m just really wanting my brain to feel good and carefree again and I don’t know if that can happen without leaving.