u/SensitiveTap3395

F26 here. I got my boyfriend M28 a sex toy and I’m curious how guys would feel if their girlfriend bought them one. Would you think it’s weird or totally normal? Why or why not?

He’s never expressed explicit interest in one, but I just thought it would be fun. I got it for the purpose of us using it together. The specific toy I got him is a pocket p*ssy, and I read on other posts that some women were saying that THAT specifically is weird 😭 now I’m hesitant to give him it?

TLDR: I bought my bought BF a sex toy, wondering if he will find that weird or fun.

Hi everyone. I (25F) and my partner (27M) have been dating for almost 3 years and living together for 2.

About a year ago, the topic of porn came up (for the first time in our relationship), and he told me that he rarely, if ever, watched it since we moved in together. If he did, he said it was only when I wasn’t around or wasn’t home. Honestly, that didn’t REALLY bother me. I’d prefer if he didn’t watch it at all, but I figured it wasn’t something worth making a huge issue over.

About two months ago, though, I walked into the bathroom and found him jerking off to porn. He tried to hide it, even running in to the other room and locking the door in order to clear out his search history. For context, I was literally laying in his bed in the next room, completely available and willing to have sex if he’d wanted to. I had also been asking him in the weeks leading up to this to initiate sex more, as it felt like it had mostly been me doing the initiating.

I asked him why he would choose to do that when I was right there, and I cannot seem to get a straight answer. His responses are basically “it’s a habit” and “it’s mindless,” but he doesn’t really elaborate beyond that.

He also insists that was the only time he’s ever done it while I was home. But, honestly, I wasn’t born yesterday. Given how defensive/vague he is about it, I have a hard time believing that was actually the only time.

I’ve told him that this makes me feel insecure and that, whether he intends it or not, it makes me wonder if he prefers porn to me, if he finds those women more attractive, or if I’m somehow not enough for him.

His response is basically that it’s “just a habit” that he’s trying to stop, and that I should get over it because it has nothing to do with how he feels about me.

So I’m looking for some blunt honesty here.
Why would someone choose porn/masturbation when their partner is literally in the next room and available? Is it genuinely possible that it’s just a habit and has nothing to do with how attracted he is to me? Or does the fact that he chooses it when I’m right there say something about his preferences or attraction?

I’m not looking for people to just tell me “all men watch porn, get over it” or sugarcoat things to make me feel better. I genuinely want to understand what might be going on here, even if the answer is something I don’t want to hear.

TL;DR: My boyfriend jerked off to porn while I was literally in the next room, despite saying he rarely watches it. He says it’s just a mindless habit and has nothing to do with his attraction to me. I’m struggling to understand why he’d choose porn when I was right there and wondering if it means something more.