u/Separate_Classic_853

Just had a pretty wild interview with a recruiter and I’m still processing it.

Within the first 15 minutes of the conversation, he told me that my experience isn’t a direct fit because the markets they want this person to cover aren’t the same markets I’ve covered in my most recent roles.

Fair point, I guess. Except… this is literally stated on my resume? I’ve also covered those exact markets earlier in my career, and I’ve actually progressed in other interview processes for roles covering the same markets, so I think the experience is considerably more transferable than he was making it out to be.

Which makes me wonder: why shortlist my resume in the first place if this was such an obvious dealbreaker?

But then we got to salary, and that was the truly bizarre part.

Before I could even give my expectations, he went on a long explanation about how they don’t like candidates negotiating. Apparently they want candidates to stick to whatever salary expectation they give because otherwise someone might negotiate for 10% more after receiving an offer, and they don’t like that.

I was thinking… isn’t negotiating compensation after an offer kind of a normal part of hiring? So I asked what the salary range was.

Nope. They can’t share the range because apparently if they do, everyone will just aim for the highest point of the range rather than the lowest.

Okay… so we’re starting from the premise that candidates are all trying to game the system? 😂

Anyway, I gave him my expectation. He immediately told me it was totally not workable and then proceeded to tell me what the average salary expectation of their other candidates was.
And then… just waited.

As if I should revise my expectations because other people are asking for less? We don’t necessarily have the same experience, seniority or market value??

I lowered my number somewhat just to test the waters, and he basically said no, even that was too high. The number they were targeting was more like my proposed figure as the total package. I told him that was significantly below what I was earning previously and therefore wasn’t something I would consider.

His response? Then perhaps I should withdraw from the process.

So I did. He asked if I had any other questions. Nope. 😂 I just politely ended the call.

The part I find strangest is that none of this was really a negotiation. It felt more like: here is the number we want you to accept, here is why we don't want you to negotiate, and if you don't like it, withdraw.

My husband has a habit of fighting by going to the extreme whenever he's angry. He'll say things like he wants to quit his job, or make other unrealistic threats.

The worst part is that he weaponizes our relationship and our child. During our latest fight, he said he wanted a divorce, wanted 100% custody of our toddler, and that because I'm currently not working, I wouldn't get custody anyway.

I'm honestly furious. It feels like he deliberately chose the most hurtful thing he could say. Whether he meant it or not, it's left me seriously questioning the marriage.

Has anyone managed to come back from something like this? How do you rebuild trust when your spouse fights by saying the most damaging things possible?

TLDR: Husband doesn’t fight fair, says cruel things. How to still continue in the marriage?

Was in an interview that I thought was neutral, no significantly positive or negative vibes. However, towards the end of the interview, about 10 mins left on a scheduled hour, the interviewer asked if he could cut short the interview as he has got “everything he needs” to write up the submission.

There were times he would nod in response to my answers or he would agree and said that’s great. It might just be a convo filler but I don’t know what to make of it.

Just wondering if a shortened interview ever resulted in a positive result - any personal experience to share?