Partner enmeshed with mom and sister
I (22F) have been with my partner (25M) for almost 3 years now and have a baby with him, over the years there have been multiple issues concerning him and his family, he acts like his sister is his wife and his mom acts like he is her husband. He constantly compares me to his sister and frames it as if i'm not good enough for his love, trust and respect because i don't do things how his sister does and i'm not his sister. When i got pregnant one of the first things he said to me was "having a baby with you is like i'm having a baby with my sister", everything we do together somehow reminds him of her, we go to the mall, as we're walking up the stairs into the mall he says the stairs remind him of "that one time he walked up and down stairs" with his sister, we play video games together, he has to stop in the middle to send his sister a picture of the video games bc it reminds him of her, we eat quesadillas together, somehow that makes him think of his sister, anytime she asks for anything he just ditches me to go do that for her or asks me to change my plans with him and go with him to accommodate his sister. When i was pregnant she asked him to go to tj maxx with her bc she didn't want to go alone and her boyfriend was at work, he leaves me alone at home so he can go to tjmaxx with her. Another occasion while i was pregnant she invited us to the pumpkin patch with her and he told me that he wasn't going to go but then just goes with them without me and ignores me the whole day, she asks him to come back to their moms house the day after his moms birthday to sing her happy birthday even though we were there the day before and said happy birthday to his mother and he just drops everything "let's go sing my mom happy birthday bc my sister said she was so sad that we didn't sing her happy birthday yesterday". He one time left me alone in the hospital on christmas while i had an ovarian cyst because his mom and sister wanted him to go back to the house for christmas. At my gender reveal it was just me, him, his sister and her child and she looked at her child and said "you're gonna have a baby sister" after finding out the gender of my baby with him. This year for mothers day he was telling me that he had plans for me and him for mothers day and then one day when we were picking our daughter up from his moms house his mom starts talking about mothers day and immediately when he gets in the car he suggests we change our plans for the day after mothers day instead of mothers day so that we can spend mothers day at his moms house with his mom and sister. His mom was so pissed when he told her he wouldn't be spending mothers day with them and that he would be prioritizing me that day that she immediately called him and accused me of being the one who wrote that text message and then gave him attitude "oh so she's your priority now" and then hung up on him for saying i was his priority and now just pretends i don't exist, only him and our child exists. On her birthday when we were picking up our daughter from her house he looked at me and said "babe can you scratch my back" and i started scratching his back and then his mom(who was standing there the whole time and knew he asked me and not her) pushes me out of the way to start scratching his back instead, and then even goes as far as to pull his shirt up and put both hands up his shirt and scratch his back even more. A couple weeks later his sister texted him about the situation and tries to say that i was talking shit about their mom to his brothers girlfriend and calling her a creep and tries telling him that i was telling the both of them that we had some sort of "altercation" to make him think that i was going around telling them he was abusing me and he just instantly takes her words as law and starts accusing me of shit while he's at work and comes home just to argue with me about it and then refuses to defend me to his sister, his sister even went on to text him again asking him to "keep this conversation secret from girlfriend, i don't want her to know about this conversation" and we got in a screaming match because i told him he needed to text her back and tell her he wouldn't keep secrets from me and that it's not okay for her to spread lies and gossip about me and he REFUSED and tried defending her and saying "oh well maybe she didn't know that it wasn't true" "i'm sure she's not trying to be rude" "i don't think she meant it like that". After the argument ended he finally just gave in and said okay i will tell her and texted her and said he won't keep secrets from me and that i didn't call his mom a creep and she just says "okay well you guys are good parents" and then the next time he spoke to his mom after the mothers day situation, she just asked him how he's doing and how our baby is doing and just pretended like she doesn't know me. And then the next time he talked with his sister after he said he wouldn't keep secrets from me she ignored his first text and when she finally responded (not until after he sent another text a few days later) she was extremely cold with him and didn't even ask how he was doing or how me or our child was when she always would ask, almost like she's punishing him with the silent treatment because he set boundaries with her.(this is also ironically exactly how he punishes me when he thinks i've done something wrong)