u/Serious_Egg9467

Hii everyone, I'm quite new to this topic, but I realized not so long ago that it's time to take action. I hope not to make this too long, but long story short, I am now 22 and for the past few months/year I have been suffering from mild vulvar itching again. I went to the doctor for this before, around the age of 17/18, and back then my itching was much worse compared to now, It was really uncomfortable. I walked around with it for quite a long time in the past, but because I was very ashamed and viewed it as a kind of taboo, I found it difficult to speak up as a young teenage girl. After finally daring to speak out loud, I went to a female GP (not my regular GP, because I didn't have enough courage at the time, even though my male doctor is truly professional and empathetic). 

After taking a look I was quickly told that is was an incurable and “rare” skin condition called Lichen Sclerosis (no tests or any biopsy done). I dealt with low self-esteem and insecurity a lot during my teenage years, and the “diagnosis” my female doctor gave me back then as a 17/18yo girl was really a major blow on me. However, I received no further explanation or any information for treatment regarding this skin condition. She also showed no understanding and looked at me with annoyance when I asked her if I could get a referral to a derm. Due to the shock, my world basically fell apart for me, causing me to miss school because of my well-being that month however, a doctor's statement was something she absolutely refused to do for me.

Fortunately I got a referral to the derm and she was actually quite certain that it was eczema (She was really compassionate and kind). I am not a specialist, but even there, no biopsy or any tests were done, yet she was very sure. I was given a cream with a high cortisone content, and this worked really well for me. A few years later, I have mild itch again. Fortunately, the symptoms are really much less severe/not comparable to before. But I am reaching an age now and realize that I need to pull myself together and just make an appointment. I shouldn't be feeling ashamed, nor is it a taboo. Reading all your Reddit post/experiences really gave me a lot of courage to speak up and take action, I truly admire everyone who has been brave enough to seek help:’))

I told my mom about it this morning and she was very understanding. I also called my doctor for a referral, he is on vacation now, but they said he would call me back on Monday. I think I will be referred immediately since I was treated at my derm before. So far, I use Sudocrem and Vaseline Lanette Cream FNA to keep the vulva skin supple and soft. I also recently bought a calendula ointment and it feels quite pleasant. 

The only confusion I'm dealing with right now is.. Is it really lichen sclerosis? I won't know for sure until I get tested ofc, but I can imagine my symptoms fit a bit better back then than they do now? But I have never experienced pain when urinating or in general. I also don't know if my vulva has fused or changed? I've actually never really been aware of my vulva since I didn't know what a “normal” or “healthy” vulva is supposed to look like growing up. I do remember my dermatologist seeing a “fissure” (I’m not sure exactly what the real translation is in English) at the time due to scratching. But so far, I only experience a mild itch. I feel no pain or urinary pain and have always felt a lot of pleasure during intimate moments with my boyfriend. I can also reach everything and I can easily move my labia aside to wash myself properly? If that makes sense haha. Sometimes I have moments where I really have a flare-up compared to other days. But after reading some posts, I realized that friction and heat, for example, play a big role, and that actually clicked to me!! No toilet paper but bamboo paper or a Peri bottle, supplements, and diet etc. 

So my question is, what do you think about it? Do you have any care and balancing tips? And how did you experience it? I really appreciate everyone’s courage and empathy, so thank you sm🥹!

Hii everyone, for the past few months I’ve been suffering from itching around my vulva again..  My itching used to be very bad when I was younger, but now I notice it's a kind of mild itch and that I automatically scratch, which gives me relief? if that makes sense? Anyway, I’m 22 now and I went to the doctor when I was 17 or 18 for the same problem, only it didn't go as smoothly in the beginning, I have a male doctor and I’ve had him for years, since I was a kid, and I have to say he is a really compassionate and good doctor. For this problem, I preferred to see a female doctor because I didn't have the courage to open up with my own doctor. Long story short, the female doctor declared that I had a “rare” and incurable vulva condition. I didn't know what I was hearing at the time, and to be honest, my world fell apart for a moment. I went home with a cream and little explanation as I told my parents about the appointment. My dad then suggested that I should be referred to a specialist for further research/diagnosis. 

And so on, after another doctor's appointment, she actually looked down on me and didn't quite understand why I asked for a referral. I was also not doing so well mentally at the time because of the shock, which meant I was unable to come to school that month, but a written doctor's statement was something she absolutely wasn’t going to do for me..

Fortunately I got the referral. I went to a dermatologist then, and she was actually already certain that it was eczema. I am not a specialist, but there hadn't been any tests or biopsies, yet she was sure. The appointment went well, and she was very empathetic and reassured me a lot. I dealt with low self-esteem and insecurity a lot during my teenage years, and the “diagnosis” my female doctor gave me back then as a 17-year-old was really a major blow. Which made me realize that, even after a long time, I didn't have the courage to ring the alarm again..

Anyway, I am so grateful to my dermatologist for being so compassionate. I started applying a cream with a high cortizone content for about a month, I think? After that, it did help, I didn't suffer from itching anymore. Until a year  or two ago (I don’t know anymore)... I am older now and am realizing that I just need to keep myself together and make another appointment. Before I felt shame and also that it is a kind of taboo, but now, at the same time, I feel that it shouldn't be like that at all and that it is okay.

I did some reading, and I also really realized that I had periods where I had fewer flare-ups or itching. After reading more Reddit posts, I also found out that diet and other factors played a big role that I had never thought about before! Such as salt baths, using a Peri bottle instead of toilet paper, probiotics, no sugars, and a clean diet. This prompted me to do better in the future and make some changes. Currently, I am using Sudocrem, Bepanthen, and Vaseline Lanette cream FNA, but this is not working well enough alongside softing and “skincare“?. Candula ointment is something I still want to try, but, do you have any helpful itching tips or flora balancing tips? What do you think of my story and what are your experiences?

My boyfriend and I have been together for two years (distance dating online for 2 years first) and we have been able to create beautiful memories over time. Our anniversary was not so long ago, but it turned into an emotional and open conversation. I don't remember how we got into this situation, but it really means a lot to us. At one point, I burst out crying because he told me that lately he hasn't been feeling well and is extremely insecure about how he looks like since he gained weight. We had a short conversation a few months ago about the fact that we hadn't been having sex for the past few months, and when I brought it up he told me then that he was disgusted with himself because he was gaining weight, while reassuring me that it really wasn't my fault and misses it too. Now, almost a year has passed and lately it has really saddened me that we no longer share such intimate moments. 

Anyway, I brought it up again while bursting into tears, because not so long ago he also apologised to me if classmates saw us together (my academy had organised an exhibition) because he was ashamed of his appearance and was afraid that he would embarrass me. This pains me and made me very emotional because everything clicked to me then. My boyfriend isn't severely overweight, but he has become a bit more chubby since we met. In my eyes, he’s still the perfect, most attractive and loving soul in the world, but I can understand very well that it is very difficult for him.. But so on, I told him about the fact that I missed that deep connection and vulnerable moments we shared so much and that it saddened me, that I was unconsciously preoccupied with it too because I was dreaming about it more and more often and it made me insecure. He knelt down and held me tightly and said that he understood me and missed those beautiful moments very much too, he said some other things as well but I squeezed his hands and cried.

After more word exchanges, he told me that he has been having a very difficult time lately and has fallen back into a negative state, even reaching a point where he doubts his own existence. Both he and I had periods of depression in the past during our teens, but my episode was very different from his. I was listless for life, I felt so much that at a certain point I felt nothing anymore, I was empty and worn out, I stopped eating and harmed myself. My boyfriend, on the other hand, is very much in his head (probably also due to his adhd, he once told me that his thoughts are sometimes so overwhelming that he’s literally exhausted). When we are together, he takes very good care of me, is silly, always hugs and kisses me, reassures me. etc. At the moment, he is not working and does not do any sports, he stopped a few years ago due to his hernia and burnout, but he wants to find work he enjoys and said he will go for it 100%. he often goes thrifting or goes on a hike here and there. Lately he really wanted to do things with me like picnicking, but as he said, he apologized that it hasn't happened yet.

Later he said that he had seen his dad again after so much time not too long ago, but the conversation didn't go as well as he had hoped. I’ll spare the details, but basically it was a sermon about the future and he was not understanding towards my bf and even used things against him, which placed a little more weight on his shoulders. Afterwards, my boyfriend also said that he was simply shocked that he was having such thoughts again, even though he knows he still wants to stay here, but events like this make him doubt himself. The shock made him burst into tears against my chest while I comforted him and cried along with him, reassuring that we’ll work this through together. He said it usually blows over and he knows it will be fine, he really does want to find professional help again, but because the last few weren't helpful, he’s still hesitant, but he has signed up for a program where they help you and also do a check-in on how your well-being is doing etc.

After shedding lots of tears together, I asked him, "What now?"  I told him that I felt helpless and that I wanted to help him but didn't know how, because this is something beyond my control, something he has to work on as it pains me to seem him like this. Which he said that my presence already means a lot to him and that he himself doesn't know what more I can do, even though he would like to ask me too. But for now, he asked me, if I still have any trust in him, I could just trust him. 

I am relieved and I cherish these moments and conversations together very much, but it saddens me that I didn't notice it sooner because I experienced it differently.. I feel selfish, but he reassured me and apologized for hurting me, saying it wasn’t his intention to do so. But yeah… After this conversation, I still have faith in him and I don't doubt him, but I still find it difficult as a bystander because change really only starts with yourself:(( I love him very much and even through his difficult period, he is still as loving, caring and gentle towards me as he was the day we met.. We haven't been intimate for a long time now, but I can really imagine that it is difficult for him, but I still miss it very much, and so does he.. It wasn't my intention to make it this long, but I don't really know how to process it, I guess.. Do you have any thoughts? Or how would you think or act in this situation?