u/SetChemical2005

for context: my father is white, my mother is southeast asian and i am mixed race (asian and white). I have mixed features but i look more like my mother/asian side and get mistaken for just asian most of the time.

also for context: my parents had a messy divorce in the previous years.

I honestly don’t really know what to make of this experience and how to feel about this. Me, my sister, father and his parents were out in public having drinks and we were talking about my plans to move to a bigger city than the city i currently live in for university- which is a small city by the coast in the country we live in. My sister, father and his parents all live in a rural area of the countryside which is where i grew up and i hated it. Being the only mixed race poc in my small town, going to a predominantly white school with maybe five other poc kids in the entire school was not a fun experience growing up. There was a lot of racially motivated bullying and harassment, especially during covid. There was even an instance where i was physically assaulted by two people who had issue with me because of my race, because i was “dirty”.

My father disapproved of my plans for the future and his reasoning and response was along the lines of “cities just aren’t safe. you’re a vulnerable white woman and cities are full of so many (insert horrible words/slurs for non white people) who have taken over this country”. Reminder- i am half white, half asian, and monoracial asian passing.

By this point im used to my father being openly, loudly and publically racist (he has said some very racist things about almost every race on the planet that isn’t the white race) and i am fully aware that he did not take the divorce to my asian mother well at all. I am also transgender- ftm- and my father is aware of this and has been for the past seven years but chooses not to acknowledge it. Doesn’t surprise me, i’m used to that by now. That being said, im BAFFLED that he called me a “vulnerable white woman” when i am very clearly not white and he knows i’m not a woman and am in the process of transitioning. Like i expected him to ignore the transgender aspect but to call me white??? HE is the one who decided to marry my asian mum, move her half way across the world, and have two children with her (me and my sister). For him to call me white despite being fully informed about my heritage and having functioning, working eyes in his head… it definitely upset me, invalidated me and also stunned me. Even now i’m stunned that my own father is basically ignoring my heritage and white washing me because now that he’s divorced from his “exotic wife” i guess he hates asians or something???

He made some passive aggressive comments regarding my race in the past (e.g “the way you are sitting isn’t very english” “that’s not very english of you”) but i never imagined that he would be getting bolder and more ludicrous in this way. Is this a relatable experience for other Wasians here or is my family just straight up terrible??

for context: my father is white, my mother is southeast asian and i am mixed race (asian and white). I have mixed features but i look more like my mother/asian side and get mistaken for just asian most of the time.

also for context: my parents had a messy divorce in the previous years.

I honestly don’t really know what to make of this experience and how to feel about this. Me, my sister, father and his parents were out in public having drinks and we were talking about my plans to move to a bigger city than the city i currently live in for university- which is a small city by the coast in the country we live in. My sister, father and his parents all live in a rural area of the countryside which is where i grew up and i hated it. Being the only mixed race poc in my small town, going to a predominantly white school with maybe five other poc kids in the entire school was not a fun experience growing up. There was a lot of racially motivated bullying and harassment, especially during covid. There was even an instance where i was physically assaulted by two people who had issue with me because of my race, because i was “dirty”.

My father disapproved of my plans for the future and his reasoning and response was along the lines of “cities just aren’t safe. you’re a vulnerable white woman and cities are full of so many (insert horrible words/slurs for non white people) who have taken over this country”. Reminder- i am half white, half asian, and monoracial asian passing.

By this point im used to my father being openly, loudly and publically racist (he has said some very racist things about almost every race on the planet that isn’t the white race) and i am fully aware that he did not take the divorce to my asian mother well at all. I am also transgender- ftm- and my father is aware of this and has been for the past seven years but chooses not to acknowledge it. Doesn’t surprise me, i’m used to that by now. That being said, im BAFFLED that he called me a “vulnerable white woman” when i am very clearly not white and he knows i’m not a woman and am in the process of transitioning. Like i expected him to ignore the transgender aspect but to call me white??? HE is the one who decided to marry my asian mum, move her half way across the world, and have two children with her (me and my sister). For him to call me white despite being fully informed about my heritage and having functioning, working eyes in his head… it definitely upset me, invalidated me and also stunned me. Even now i’m stunned that my own father is basically ignoring my heritage and white washing me because now that he’s divorced from his “exotic wife” i guess he hates asians or something???

He made some passive aggressive comments regarding my race in the past (e.g “the way you are sitting isn’t very english” “that’s not very english of you”) but i never imagined that he would be getting bolder and more ludicrous in this way. Is this a relatable experience for other Wasians here or is my family just straight up terrible??