My parents apparently always knew i liked men, and I think I have always been into guys but not known what it meant. I only figured out that im definitely attracted to men at 13 and thought I was gay so i came out as such, but it didn't feel right so I took more time to think, and it wasn't till I was 16 that I finally figured out that im bi just with a strong male preference.
Took a while but km pretty sure I've figured it out.
I see/hear people tell stories of how they had homosexual exploring at a really young age, whether it be a good experience or a big mistake I realise im never going to experience that, im in my mid teens and all ive done is go out with someone for only a month, I have almost zero experience with relationships and some people have experience from when they were like five, and ill never experience love or relationships like that and honestly it makes me slightly sad tbh. This probably makes no sense but thanks for taking the time to read this. Hopefully i manage to f8nd love cos honestly I really want it.
So i came out to my mum as bi, like half a year ago now, I literally just dropped it into a conversation, like I told her a friend kept calling me fay even tho im bi, she took it great, shes happy for me. She's told me tho that her and my dad have always been convicted that im gay, ive told her many times that I still like girls but she doesn’t really believe me. I literally started dating a girland she still isn't convicted that im bi, she thinks it was a lavender relationship or something, it's a little annoying but tbh but it's whatever, I dont need to prove myself. Like she is close cos I do have a strong preference for guys but I am still into girls, so im not gay.
I swing both ways obviously, but
Im more visually/physically attracted to girls (like i find them more beautiful)
Im more romantically attracted to boys (like id seek a romantic relationship with a man over a woman)
And im pretty much equal with sexual attraction
Relatable??
So ive been struggling with gender dysphoria forever but it's been much worse recently and it's made me really stressed out and really hate myself. I really wanna transition but im so scared of judgement and i hate how i look and sound and everything about myself, so i dont look fem at all and it really bugs me.
So i was at my aunties wedding and my mum could see i was upset and stressed, I told her I didn't wanna talk about it but that made her more worried so eventually she pressured me into telling her that I think im trans, she is supportive and has suggested therapy to help with my anxiety and dysphoria which may help but idk.
I eventually sat with my sister in a private room and talked to her about everything on my mind which did help kn getting it off of my chest because i trust her with everything. She's more than supportive and has comforted me and given me a little advice which im really greatful for.
My mum has apparently told my dad and a few family members which honestly i don't appreciate because i don't want lots of attention on me but whatever I can't do anything now.
Im gonna take my mum up on therapy because it could help and im gonna make an attempt to start socially transitioning but I doubt ill manage tbh. Like there's lots of things id like to do, like estrogen and laser hair removal but im just nervous that my parents will say no and its making it hard to find the courage to ask but hopefully I manage.
Sorry for rambling just wanted to share.
If u have any advice id appreciate it but thanks for taking the time to read this :3